As I’ve mentioned before, ♀ and I met on-line and it’s doubtful that we would have met any other way. Our work schedules, circles we moved in, interests and body types (hers and mine) would have made meeting highly unlikely. I was skinnier then her past partners and fat chicks for the most part were invisible to me. But when we met in person, it was after chatting on-line and on the phone (we may have even had phone sex by then) and there was already a definite spark.

Prior to our meeting, she had made several important changes in her life. She’d quit smoking, had a breast reduction, had her tubes tied and lost 20-30 lbs. She’s not sure of the exact amount because she avoided scales. Even though she was still a big woman when we met, she was feeling really good about herself and so I didn’t see a fat chick, I saw a very sexy woman.

A year or so after that we took some sexy pictures of each other and she was disgusted by what she saw. At about the same time one of her brothers was diagnosed with diabetes and had already suffered kidney damage (both her parents are diabetic). She was tested and her blood sugar levels were high. She decided to do something about it and over the next two years lost another 75lbs. That means seven years ago she was about 100lbs heavier. Can you imagine losing 100 lbs? My step-son dates tiny girls and one day I made the observation that ♀ had lost an entire girlfriend. People can get tattoo’s or piercings or any number of cosmetic surgeries, but to change your body that drastically with nothing but sheer willpower amazes me.

The past year has been difficult and she’s put 15lbs back on. The stress of the trial has been one factor. Also, a bone spur on her toe has made walking painful and favouring that foot has affected her hip so we haven’t been going for as many walks as before. What has surprised me is how easily her weight has crept up. She was still eating healthy, still very aware of quality and quantity, but less exercise and not being as strict and up it goes. She asked if I would still be attracted to her if she got as heavy as she was when we met. I told her that if she got that heavy again she wouldn’t be feeling good about her self and it would be difficult to be turned on by someone filled with self loathing.

I’ve been about the same weight since high school. When I get really stressed, I tend to lose weight. So my attitude about dieting was that it was simple. If you want to lose weight just eat less and exercise. “Take the damn fork out of your mouth.”.  Even though my attitude has changed, it’s still a challenge to be a dieters partner. I help with meal planning and preparation (most days that means two different meals, the kids and I need carbs). We exercise together; walking, swimming, biking and of course lots of whoopee. But even with the best intentions, there are days when encouragement is taken as condescension.

♀ went back on her diet today. She wants to lose 25lbs (10lbs below her lowest weight) With her build and metabolism, she knows she’ll never be ‘skinny’. She also knows that she will always struggle with weight issues. I just hope she can get to a place where she truly likes what she sees and is able to maintain it. Now that would be sexy!