Except for three years in the mid ’80’s, I have been a baker of bread aka dough surgeon since 1981 and for more then 20 years after every major holiday I’ve decided that I’m to old for this shit. It’s a hot, sweaty and very labour intensive way to earn a living. And anytime you need to double or triple you’re production in a shift (Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving) it takes its toll.

One perk of being a baker is that there’s always beer in the bakery. I did my apprenticeship with a German and he always said you should have a beer after work to wash the flour dust out of your throat before it gets into your lungs. (’White lung’ is a common ailment of bakers.) I worked for a Dutchman for a few years and one of the products we made was beer bread and the bakers were allowed to drink one beer per shift. I’ve worked for an Englishman for the past 19 years and he says bakeries and breweries were traditionally part of the same business. They both revolve around the production of yeast and that’s why any decent bakery should have beer in the cooler. Or it could be we’re just a bunch of drunks.

There are a few perks for ♀ as well. Obviously fresh baked bread is one, but she also like how I smell when I get home. Man sweat mixed with the smell of the bakery is apparently very pleasing to her. Even when she’s not home to enjoy it in person she insists that I not have a shower before I go to sleep so she can cuddle up to my pillow and smell me when she goes to bed.

Another thing she is very fond of are my hands. Bakers have very strong hands, but unlike most other trades, my hands are smooth and not calloused. The only occupation I can think of that would be comparable is a massage therapist. But unlike a masseuse I can hold onto things that are very hot; like husking corn-on-the-cob right off the BBQ, or holding hot dishes (♀ *lol*) at the table while she dishes out.

Speaking of hands, do you know what’s weird? I remember my Dad as having huge muscular hands, but when ♀ proposed to me   she used his wedding band and it wouldn’t go past my first knuckle.

Anyway, the next time you’re trolling for men or trying to come up with a fantasy guy you might want to consider a dough surgeon. And if you happen to enjoy having your breasts kneaded like loaves of raw bread dough*, well then you should find yourself a baker.

* ♀ has pretty much cured me of that.

Cheers,

sss