Unspeakable Axe had an interesting post about fighting D/s stereotypes awhile ago and this is what I said in his comments:    ♀ & i were both new to the whole D/s lifestyle. i was the one asking for it and it’s taken quite a while for Her to understand that as the ‘D’ She gets to decide how it will work and what it will look like. When we’re out in public i wear men’s outer clothes, i hold doors open for her, if it rains i hold the umbrella for her, if it’s cold out i warm her car up and scrape the windows..
To an outside observer all those things look traditionally masculine. She expects me to behave that way, so for us we think of it as submissive.
It’s all about Her will and that includes all things sexual. So when she bends over the couch beside the christmas tree and tells me to fuck her horny ass while ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is on TV Christmas Eve; the act itself might appear submissive on her part, but the reality is even in that situation i’m still her sissy-bitch-fucktoy.

Even in a committed relationship like ours, what D/s means…changes. There’s an ebb and flow to it. Life happens and what was fun yesterday might not be the best thing tomorrow. Over the long term it would be fair to call it an evolution…moving forward into uncharted waters. Some things feel right, other things might only work right now in the context of trash-talk. However, there is change and in a long term relationship I think that’s very important. Boredom, especially in monogamy, is a death-knell.

Here’s a recent example: The other afternoon, we were walking home in the rain and her shoe lace had come untied. She stopped walking, pointed at her shoe and said, “my shoe lace is undone.”

I handed her the umbrella, knelt down on the wet pavement and did it up. It felt like the most natural thing in the world…to both of us, but a year ago she probably wouldn’t have even thought of getting me to do it.

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I’ve had a couple of comments recently that have sparked some discussion between us.  Oldbogus asked: …I do wonder (since my own spouse and I have largely divergent tastes (no pun there) in men), when ♀ flirts with others, how do you view them? I mean, are you attracted to the same people?

I should start off by saying that had we bumped into each other on the street seven years ago, I don’t think either of us would have given the other a second glance. I was much to skinny, she was much to big. Meeting on-line allowed us to see past that.

So I know what kind of man she’s attracted to. I’m not really attracted to men, but being a bottom to men or being cuckolded by ♀ are reoccurring themes in trash-talk. Some days I think it would be super-hot to do for real, other days I’m not so sure. She doesn’t flirt with guys all that much when I’m around, but when she does I think it’s cute. Click here to read about one such time.

She does flirt with women quite often and if she ever decided to take it further I wouldn’t care what type she was. Seeing ♀ with another woman would be super-hot period.

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The Fellatio Artist & The Geek Said about the Sexy New Years Eve outfit:

I like it but you can’t really go by me, I think I have fabulous taste, but then again my sense of women’s fashions developed itself in changing rooms , laundry hampers and dark closets over the years.

I am often bemused at the similarities in taste among crossdressers who for the most part developed their fetishes in the dark totally independent of one another.

In all serious I think it looks nice on her which is the point and it looks like something you chose for her, not for you. In the sense that for example for me I would add garter straps or some such tranny approved garb, this is feminine and pretty.

That is so true. Especially if your kink developed in the dark days before the Internet. I sometimes think that it would be easier for a child today with those sorts of desires to discouver he’s not the only one and avoid the decades of angst, but there are dangers that go along with that as well, right?

I think I’ve always been attracted/fascinated with girly things and I’m sure by the time I was eleven I knew the complete inventory of my mothers lingerie drawer (I really liked pantyhose). I’d like to believe that Mini would feel comfortable enough to ask me anything, but I’m not naive enough to believe he will so when I heard him and a buddy giggling away in the computer room, I just had to go check to see what my eleven year old found so entertaining.

Cheers,

sss