I’ve been thinking about <Tom Allen’s> interview with <Ms. Rika> this week. Apparently, so were <a few other people>.

Here’s a quote:: “True submission is not about what the domme does TO the sub. It’s about what the sub does FOR the domme.”

It took us a while, but that’s a concept we managed to figure out all on our own. When we first started exploring my sissification, I was the instigator and it was all about what she could do to me. Even if I tried to dress it up to make it look like it was about her.

Your pussy is much to delicate to be touched by toilet paper, I should lick you dry after you pee.

The result was she would often feel inadequate (Maybe you need to be with someone who can satisfy your needs) and resentful (nothing I do is good enough for you).

Neither of those statements are true, but I can understand why at times she felt that way. It wasn’t until we figured out that as the Domme this lifestyle can look and be whatever she wants it to be that we started making progress. I know some cynics will say that all that’s happened is I’ve lowered my expectations, but no, really, we’ve both changed our attitudes and it has made a difference.

Here’s part of an email I sent this week:  i’m a cross-dressing sissy and ♀ is a somewhat reluctant…no, i don’t think that applies anymore…She’s an emerging domme. I couldn’t have said that even six months ago. She’s becoming more confident and assertive because it’s on her terms.

I still have and will probably always have an ever-changing and evolving list of things I’d like her to do to me, but I think as long as we  can both distinguish between our real D/s life and activities that might be fun for ‘playtime’ I think we can have those sorts of discussions without hurt feelings or unreasonable expectations. Recognizing ‘playtime’ as something seperate is another idea we got from Ms. Rika…thanks.

Cheers,

sss