In my horrid little pre-internet adolescent world there were only two choices. You were either a hetero-alpha type male or you were a faggot. There was no middle ground. Most of my friends were female and treated me like another girl friend. Most boys were either cruel to me or they were trying to get me into bed. I wasn’t a very happy guy.

Anyway, at some point I decided that maybe I shouldn’t knock it before I tried it. If the whole world thought I was gay…maybe I was. The boy I decided to experiment with lived three hours away, was as confused as I was and could play this flawlessly…

We tried twice. The first time with alcohol and the second time with porn. Nothing ‘came’ of it either time and we were both left more confused then ever. He joined the catholic church and I decided my calling in life was to be a eunuch.

It made perfect sense to me. I had all these female friends who loved to confide in me and no males ever seemed to feel threatened by me hanging out with their women. That fact that I still had testicles was only a minor detail. I was quite certain they would eventually just fall off from lack of use.

Ahh the joys of teenage angst…

sss