I left an item out when I wrote the list for the Honest S(crap) Award. The truth is I often feel guilty about being a sissy. I left it off the list  because ♀ gets quite cross with me when I say things like that. We hadn’t found the ‘sissy’ label when we got married, but we certainly had a sense of who (and what) I was long before we exchanged I do’s and this is something we’ve explored together. So, some days I see her point of view and other days I just feel bad about it.

Why? Well, there’s so much more involved with it then just sex. If it was just a case of I need to feel lingerie in order to get excited that would be one thing, but ‘sissy’ touches/influences/connects to everything. I can look back and see connections to things I was doing as a child, long before I was even aware of my sexuality. I can see how being a sissy and not knowing it affected so many who, what, when, where, why and how’s. And now…’sissy’ is such a huge factor in our lives. It influences how I think and feel about everything. She never complains about it. She likes being treated like a Goddess, but some days I feel guilty about the whole thing.

I was chatting with a blogger friend about this the other day and she was very surprised that I would ever feel that way. I was trying to explain where these feelings came from. ♀ is so amazing and beautiful and sexy and I love her so much some days it feels like I’m going to burst and I want her to be happy and I want her to have the best of everything and I am so not worthy and and and when I said “she deserves a real man”, blogger friend interrupted and said “maybe feeling like she deserves to be with an alpha male is part of the sissy dynamic”.

That really struck a chord with me and it did with ♀ when I talked to her about it later. It makes a lot of sense, dontchya think? We often whisper smutty scenarios into each others ear with endless combinations of people, places and things and watching or hearing ♀ get well and truly fucked by a ‘real’ man is a fairly common one. It’s not a very big leap from trash talk to believing she deserves to have that. It’s all wrapped up in the submissive/humiliation dynamic of being a sissy. Hopefully, figuring that out will help with the guilt.

Before I started to write this post I wanted to see if  ’sissy’ would be considered a fetish.

noun
: an object or bodily part whose real or fantasized presence is psychologically necessary for sexual gratification and that is an object of fixation to the extent that it may interfere with complete sexual expression.

Based on that definition I would have said no. But then I found this:

any object, idea, etc., eliciting unquestioning reverence, respect, or devotion: to make a fetish of  the Goddess.

Cheers,

sss

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1 Comment »

1. 

   I absolutely love this post, I think it’s brilliant. And I love that you quoted the definition of fetish–it was running through my mind as I started reading. Fetish in the anthropological sense, denoting a magical object, something invested with the power of the religious.

   “Fetish, the anthropological sense of fetish, the original one, the one in which the sensual and sacred are twined. The sacred and the profane.
   Not the corrupted sense in which we now refer to a narrow sexual fixation,though that came from this meaning. Too often there is nothing of the sacred there, just a fixation on an object to the exclusion of the person.

   But the religious sense of the word: a physical object,–it must be physical—usually manmade, which is considered to have religious and mystical significance, and most of all magical.
   The fetish is supposed to literally contain or hold within itself the essense of the holy; the fetish literally contains the goddess. The fetish demands to be touched, held, seen, that one may become closer to the sacred.”

   And as you know, I do think there’s a deep connection to the submissive/sissy dynamic and the feelings you mention…
   Love
   O

   Comment by O — February 9, 2009 @ 12:52 am

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