She poked me in the ribs until I woke up.

“Feel my pussy.” (Have I ever mentioned how much I ♥ being married to ♀?)

“Umm, you’re wet.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m fucking soaked.”

I slid a second finger inside her. “Are you a little horny.”

She pushed my hand away. “No, I’m pretty sure I’m already done.”

“You woke me up to tell me you masturbated? Thanks.”

“No. I think I had an orgasm in my sleep.”

“Wow. I thought only kids had wet dreams. When was the last time you had one?”

“Never. Seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever had one before. I’m 41 years old and I’ve just had my first wet dream. That’s kinda fucked up. Do you think it’s a symptom of menopause? Because I was thinking that’s why my nipples were hurting so badly a few weeks ago. Maybe I’ll have sore nipples and hot flashes and wet dreams all the time now.”

“I’m pretty sure that if wet dreams were a symptom of menopause we would have heard about it. Why don’t you tell me about your dream before it starts to fade?”

“Well, I was in a nice restaurant and I was standing in a little alcove waiting to use the restroom when someone came up behind me and grabbed my breasts. At first I thought it was you, but when I looked down I realized those weren’t your hands. He fondled me for a while then turned us around so I was facing out into the restaurant and he was still behind me. He slid his hands under my top and started pinching my nipples really hard. Then you walked in and asked what he was doing to your wife? He didn’t speak, but I could feel is breath on my neck. He lifted my skirt up and he pushed himself against me. You stepped forward,  put your hands under my top and pushed yourself against me. I was looking past you and no one in the restaurant seemed to be aware of us. We were all still clothed, but it still seemed dangerous to me. The sensation of four hands on my breasts, his breath on my neck, his anonymous cock pushing against my ass, your hard cock pushing against my cunt; being sandwiched between the two of you, that’s what did it.”

“Wow, I’m flattered that I was there. Are you sure you don’t want lovin’s?”

“No, I’m tired now. Remind me about this in the morning. I’m going to do some research to find out if wet dreams are a symptom of menopause.”