Yeah, I know it’s been quiet around here lately.  She-who-must-be-obeyed has been sending me love letters again.   I think she gets some sort of perverse pleasure from rattling my chain. When Mini turned 13 this past June, his mother emailed and told me he wanted to have more of a say in where he spent his time (translation: dad is going to get even less access).  Then she said that even though she was going to let Mini have a say, all access discussions needed to go through her (translation: she’s a control freak and will only agree to changes that see dad get less access). I wrote back and said if Mini is old enough to decided where he wants to spend his time, he’s bloody well old enough to email me or call me and say ‘Dad, I want to see you this day and that day’.  And, I told her unless he’s in the hospital or jail, please leave me the hell alone.

I saw him 3 afternoons between Fathers Day and Labour Day. Now that he’s back  in school he emails me on the weekends and tells me the 1 or 2 days a week he’d like me to pick him up after school. So my access is down to about 5 hours a week. Sad, yes, but expected. I think it’ll decrease to pretty much nothing fairly soon. Part of that is his age, part of it is his mother. I can’t do much to change it. Maybe he’ll want more of a relationship with me when he’s older…or not…who knows. 

The upside of this is it has cut down on the number of emails I get. But it hasn’t stopped them and they cause a huge amount of stress in our lives.  The emails I get now are all about wanting more money and ignoring them isn’t really an option…either is sending emails telling her what I really think. She’s a legal assistant and I’ve been bitch-slapped by her lawyer often enough that I know I don’t like it.

I have never missed a child support payment. The issues we’re having are all about the extraordinary expenses. The rules say these need to be ‘agreed upon’. This implies a consensus…a dialogue…an explanation of differing points of view in an attempt to find a mutually satisfactory resolution. This never happens. I get demands and it’s not for small amounts and there’s never any time to discuss things or budget for the additional costs.

Last week it was  private guitar lessons and Tae Kwon Do and his orthodontics need to be started right now!  I’ve known for a long time that he’s going to need braces, but had never been told the cost or how we were going to pay for it. My insurance won’t cover the cost and so far she hasn’t provided the orthodontist with her insurance information. It turns out she’s known the exact cost since April 1/09. I’ve paid for a class trip to Quebec and 2 summer camps since then!

So I sent her a long (hopefully well thought out) email outlining what my position is. I ended it by asking her, do you really want to keep doing this for the next 5yrs 8months? How much money per month do you think I should have to pay for you to sign a letter stating that unless Mini is in the hospital or jail you will leave me the hell alone?

Now we wait to see what she or her lawyer comes back with. Sigh.

When I started this blog I promised myself that I would keep things positive. She’d sucked up so much time and energy and money from us, I wanted this space (and our bedroom) to be she-who-must-be-obeyed free zones. I think for the most part I’ve been able to do that, but I really needed to vent tonight.

Your reward for putting up with my ranting is pictures of sexy foot ware.

 We saw a stripper wearing a pair of these a few weeks ago and yes, they were full of cash.

Cheers,

sss