We went out for dinner on Saturday. I had a beer before we left, a couple more with dinner and a liquor with dessert. Then we went to a stripper bar and I had several more beers. I wasn’t sloppy drunk, but I was definitely impaired. We were sitting right at the stage and shortly after we sat down, ♀ pointed out a woman sitting by herself on the other side of the stage. It’s not unusual to see women at strip bars, but it’s a little odd to see a woman there by herself. A while later a guy brought her a glass of wine and sat down with her. They were obviously together, but they didn’t really seem like a couple. He kept leaving and coming back and they didn’t seem to interact with each other very much.

Just after the first show ended they moved over to where we were sitting and asked if they could sit beside us. She said they didn’t want to sit with all the kids on the other side. I said sure and she sat down next to me. Her friend was on her other side, but he kept leaving and coming back. On one of his stops, they both introduced themselves to us, Rob & Lisa.

♀ noticed right away, but in my befuddled condition it took me awhile to notice; Lisa was hitting on me. I did try to ignore her, but she became more and more obvious. She started putting her glass of wine right in front of me, she started touching my sleeve, then hand and then leg. At one point ♀ said loud enough for Lisa to hear, “Is she going to sit on your lap next.”

Now, I’m not a guy who has been hit on (by women) very often and I’ll admit it was flattering, but here is the behaving badly part…I asked ♀ not once, but twice if she wanted to invite this couple to play.  As we were leaving Lisa motioned for me to come back. I did. Lisa took my hand and placed it on her breast. I squeezed then kissed her on the cheek. ♀ asked me what Lisa had said and I told her she just said good night. I didn’t admit until later that I’d copped a feel and kissed her cheek. In fact hours later I was still denying that I had done anything wrong.

Of course the next moring I could see all sorts of wrong with how I’d behaved…copping a feel, kissing Lisa and not admitting it right away, asking ♀ twice if we could play with a couple we met at a strip bar when at least two of the participants were impaired (Lisa’s eyes were pretty glass), where would we have gone? Where would we have found condoms at that hour?

♀ knows that my bad judgement was fueled by alcohol and she’ll forgive me for the incident, but there is a bigger issue. Something like this just adds credence to her suspicion that she is unable to give me all that I need.  I tell her for the umpteenth time that including others might be fun under the right circumstances, but I’m not interested in anything that doesn’t include her. But it’s hard for her not to think actions…even drunken actions…speak louder then words.

Later that night while we’re in the bath together, she suggests and I agree that the subject of playing with other people will only be discussed in the controlled, alcohol-free and relatively safe environment of the Libido Lounge.  I tell her that even at the Lounge the who what when where how and why needs to be entirely up to her. She says sure, but I can tell she has her doubts that I’ll be able to live up to that promise.

I’m a schmuck and should be punished,

sss

You probably noticed that the first picture in my last post was from Annie Sprinkle’s A Public Cervix Announcement. That reminded me of my own Annie Sprinkle story.

Back in the early ’90′s CBC Radio still had super cool shows on at night. Shows with real live hosts who played an astonishing array of music and they also had interesting guests. Brent Banbury was the host of Brave New Waves (1992?) and one night while we were toiling away, Brent interviewed Annie Sprinkle.  She was promoting her newest video How to be a Sex Goddess in 101 easy steps. It doesn’t seem possible now, but I don’t think I had even heard of her before then. The interview was hilarious. I could just tell she was having so much fun and really loved what she was doing. In the movie, Annie has a 5-minute orgasm and near the end of the interview they played that section in it’s entirety…like I said, this was when CBC Radio was still cool. After her mammoth big O Annie offered to teach Brent how to have one as well. Funny stuff.

They must have given the toll-free number to call and I jotted it down.  I order the tape and six weeks later my parcel arrived, I tore it open and inside was an empty box cover. The tape had been confiscated at the border for being obscene. I was pissed. She was interviewed on CBC, why the hell would it be considered obscene?  On the back of the box cover there was a P.O. box number. So I wrote a letter and explained the situation. It wasn’t their fault that I didn’t get it and I was willing to pay a second time and was there a way to get a tape sent to me from Canada?

A few weeks later I got home from work and there was a message on my answering machine, “Hi, this is Annie Sprinkle. I heard you had some trouble getting your video tape. Give me a call.”  So of course I did and Annie Sprinkle herself answered the phone. I’m not entirely certain, but I like to believe it was her home phone number. Just from the way she answered the phone and her tone. We talked about hearing her interview while working at the bakery. She joked about more then bread rising that night. She gave me a number of someone I could call in Montreal to order the tape and she wasn’t going to charge me for it. Then she had to go because she was on her way to go skiing in the Hamptons.

So that’s my little brush with fame…Annie Sprinkle called to give me her home phone number.

Cheers,

sss