Yeah, I know that you know that there’s a blue moon this New Years Eve Did you know that only happens about once every 20 years? Do you care? Did you know that in many Spanish-speaking countries, wearing yellow panties at the stroke of midnight as the New Year turns is thought to bring wealth and good luck in the coming year? Yellow is the color of choice because it is most closely associated with gold. Tradition says you must cast away your old undies at the stoke of midnight and put on a yellow pair. There are some details to keep in mind, however: to be lucky, they must be brand new; for extra luck, you can wear them inside out. If your knickers were given to you as a gift, they are said to be the luckiest of all.

 

The tradition dates back to the Middle Ages, when it was forbidden for Spaniards to wear bright colors. People believed wearing yellow would bring them good fortune, so they wore the lucky shade as underwear, which couldn’t be seen.

 

But do the yellow panties on New Years tradition change when there’s a Blue Moon? If I’d thought of it when we were there, I’d have asked women in Mexico what colour panties they would be wearing on the blue moon New Years Eve. Hmmm, maybe that wouldn’t have been a good idea. I can ask here though without fear of being slapped. What colour panties will you be wearing this blue moon New Years Eve?

 

I happen to own a loveRly pair of yellow knickers. They’re not quite new, but they’re lacey and pretty and I think I’ll wear those. ♀ isn’t a big fan of yellow so if she wears any knickers at all, they won’t be yellow.

 

 

♀ & I would like to wish you all the best in 2010!

 

Ok, so here’s the scene: I’d been home from work for about 30 minutes having breakfast, checking email, twitter, blogs…the regular routine.

♀ stumbled out of our bedroom. The people upstairs had been noisy, her shoulder was achy, she hadn’t slept very long or very well.

That’s about when I saw the above caption and picture at AAG.  ♀ came over to give me a kiss and show me her boobies and I asked her if she agreed with AAG. She looked at it and said, “No!’ It didn’t come across like she was disgusted. It was more like, why would you even ask me such a thing?

 

 I wear panties every day (she tossed out all my men undies years ago).  I also have lots of other girlie clothes (including garters and stockings), but for some reason I haven’t been wearing them much at all lately.  So my train of thought was, if she’s that turned off by a young, fit, pretty boy pulling on stockings it’s just as well that I (a middle-aged guy with a shaved head and a Buddha belly) am not wearing such things anymore. And maybe she only just tolerated it when I wore such things in the past because she loves me and she’s secretly glad I’ve stopped and she hopes that it has stopped for good. And how do I feel about that? Do I love her even more for putting up with something she clearly hates or am I pissed because she’s been deceitful? It doesn’t matter because tomorrow when I get up I’m going to throw all my girly clothes into garbage bags and take them down to the Sally-Ann…

 

Even though she was still half asleep she could tell I was out of sorts, but I wouldn’t tell her what was wrong and we could both sense that we were getting off track. I finished on the computer and we had a shower together and even that didn’t help much. We were in bed and she was trying to get fresh with me and my little head was arguing with my big head. So finally I told her what was bugging me. I blurted out pretty much everything from the above paragraph and by the time I was done she was laughing so hard there were tears running out of her eyes.

 

It turns out in her sleepy state the picture hadn’t even registered. All that had sunk in was the caption “Hairy Leg + Stocking = So Fucking Hot. She doesn’t even like her legs to be stubbly and putting on stockings when they are stubbly feels nasty. The first few times I wore stockings (when I was with her) I wasn’t shaving my legs yet so she could feel the hair sticking through and she hated it. So it really had nothing to do with the pretty boy or me at all.

 

I’m an idiot and she’s a Goddess and life is good.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

So, how was your Christmas?  I hope Santa good to you.

 

Ours was nice. Both boys, my nephew and a brother-in-law were all here for dinner. Mini even spent the night. I can’t remember the last time he did that. Good food, and drink and company with lots of laughs and not much drama. That, for me, is a very successful holiday season. We’d agreed that our trip to Mexico was going to be our Christmas gift to each other, but I cheated and bought her some loveRly hoop earrings from a silversmith’s shop we visited. She’d tried them on and liked them, but we agreed no gifts and when she went to use the washroom, I went back and bought them. I hung them on the tree like Christmas ornaments and she didn’t find them until the afternoon.

 

Christina gave us ‘the best’ gift. You know what I mean, right? The gift that really stands out. Sometimes it’s the most expensive gift, or the most unique or the super-coolest, but Christina’s gift told us she really gets ‘us’.

Wisewoman’s Cookery  is a fabulous book about food, sex, magic and merriment. It’s  A Guide to . . .

Aphrodisiac Cooking: These quick and easy food recipes will transport you and your lover from the dinner table to your most sensual imagining.

Sensual Simples: Make natural elixirs, lotions and potions from herbs and spices in your kitchen.

Folklore Erotica: Secrets of Seduction are revealed through the intoxicating tales of the most infamous women in history.

♀ & I are both enjoying reading the book immensely and we’re looking forward to trying the recipes, but what really made this a special gift was how excited Christina was when she gave it to us. She’d heard one of the authors being interviewed on a local radio station and she knew she had to get that book for us. I love that she knows us so well. She knows about this blog and doesn’t judge. She’s a special friend to both of us.

 

Speaking of friends and gifts of books…Jennifer had her baby (aka the Pickle) and we sent her Porn for New Moms. It probably wasn’t as spot on as Christina’s gift, but hopefully it made her (and Jason) smile.

 

Anyway, I’ve been staring at the computer screen for the past hour so I guess that’s all I have to say about Xmas ‘09.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

This is the 28th Christmas I’ve spent working in a bakery (the 22nd at the same shop) and I’ve gotta tell you it really wears me out. I have 2 more long shifts to go and I’m already exhausted. Every year around this time I tell anyone who will listen that I’m getting too old for this shit.

 

♀ & I have talked about what I might do instead of baking, but it’s hard to even imagine. It’s something I might be forced to think about soon though. My boss is 10 years older then me and has really started showing his age during the past year. He and I have had a pretty good arrangement.  Soon after he bought the shop 21 years ago, he herniated a disk in his back …no heavy lifting, then he developed asthma…flour dust, bad. So he needed someone reliable to run his night shift (bread, buns, danish…) He was still able to do the lighter, less dusty day shift (cookies, cakes, muffins, pastries…).

 

It’s a funny trade; there’s not a lot of ’scratch’ bakeries left around and there’s not many ’scratch’ bakers around either so we both kind of need each other, but when he calls it a day, then what? Buying the shop isn’t an option. Even if I could find a bank to lend me the money, I wouldn’t be able to pay it off  before I needed to retire. Also, it really needs 2 people to run it. Mrs. Boss does the decorating and manages the store front.   ♀  has just started her new career and isn’t interested in being a bakery owner.  Going to work someplace else doesn’t thrill me much either. I like the people I work for and I really like being in charge. Even if I could find a good fit in another shop (after this job ends), the fact is I’m getting too old for this shit.

 

We’ve talked about trying to make money with this blog. Lot’s of bloggers try it, I don’t think many are earning a living at it. We’ve tossed around ideas for business’  we could start without huge capital and have come up with a couple of possibilities. One looks promising, but  much more research is needed.

 

In the meantime, I need to get some sleep before it’s time to go back to work. So I’ll leave with a couple of  seasonal favourites.

 

♀ laughs every time she hears this song…

 

I can remember my Dad telling this story every year from memory…

 

&  if I don’t manage to post anything else in the next few days, ♀ & I would both like to wish you all the best of the season!

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

The very first thing I did when I finished work Saturday morning was change the greeting on my phone to,  ‘I’m 46, fat and bald. Who the hell are you?’

 

Even though it was only 4am when I got home, ♀  heard me come in and sang  ‘Happy Birthday’ to me from our bedroom and even though I’d forgot to bring her coffee, she got up and made me breakfast. She’d been up late the night before making me peanut-butter pie and there was a present for me on the computer chair; an espresso machine. I don’t drink much coffee, but I do enjoy the occasional espresso.

 

I checked my email, but there were no birthday greetings. I did get a couple of bday tweets, but I was feeling kinda sorry for myself. A friend sent me this video.  Have you seen it before? Martina McBride probably wasn’t even born when Elvis recorded this. The way she’s dressed, her hair, how she walks in, except for the gaudy Christmas ornaments…it’s flawless. It has absolutely nothing to do with my birthday, but it did cheer me up.

 

 

♀ wasn’t home when I got up later that afternoon. There was a note saying she’d gone to the gym. I checked my email and still no birthday greetings from anyone. Mini had been sick all week so I hadn’t seen him at all and figured he’d give me a card when I saw him next week, but an email or phone call would have been nice. I was pretty sure I’d see Junior later in the day and ♀ would probably remind him. Nothing from my parents or anyone else.  ♀ had told me the week before that she’d made dinner reservations at a very swanky Vancouver restaurant, but they were forecasting snow for Saturday and in this part of the world that could easily make it a 2 hour drive each way. So we decided on a nice local restaraunt, but a couple of days before we decided that we’ve been spending way to much money and we should just have a romantic dinner for two at home.

 

♀ got home from the gym, we had some lovin’s and a shower and decided to go for a drive and then a stroll through some of the shops. I found a ‘Loony Tunes’ neck-tie at a second hand store for a buck so I was happy. We stopped at a little martini bar for a couple of drinks. I showed the waitress my new tie and she bought me a birthday drink and the evening was looking up. Junior had said he’d put the roast on before he went out and called his mom while we were in the bar to confirm the temperature.  Junior called again when we were driving home to say the care-taker for our building stopped him on the way out to ask him if he and I could help him move some stuff out of the Amenity Room.

 

You’re probably reading this and saying to yourself  ‘how could he NOT know what was going on?’ I swear, I didn’t have a clue. Keeping a secret is not a strong point for ♀ or Junior or Mini. Junior and his girlfriend exchanged their Christmas gifts 2 weeks ago because Junior couldn’t keep it a secret. Mini is worse at it then Junior is and ♀…she’s invented special occasions just so she could give me gifts early. I was completely clueless when I walked in to the Amenity Room to a surprise party.

 

Both kids, parents, nephew, brother-in-law, lots of friends, food, booze, music, cool gifts and ♀ looking pleased as punch that she’d surprised me. I don’t know for sure, but I think that was my first surprise party. Of course with advancing age…more and more of them will be surprises. Pretty soon I’ll be able to hide my own Easter eggs.

 

Seriously though, I had a really good time. I’m a lucky lucky sissy!

 

Oh, and just in case you hadn’t figured this out yet…

 

I ♥♥♥ ♀

 

 

♀, Christina & I were out shopping a couple of months ago and one of our stops was La Vie en Rose. If you’re unfamiliar with the name, it’s a chain of lingerie stores. They definitely cater to skinnier women, but we’ve found a few things there before and Christina had never been and they were having a panty sale so we went in.  I guess we were in the store for close to an hour. ♀ tried on a few different bras. I’m good at going back to get a different size when she’s in the change room and she trusts my opinion on what looks good on her. Eventually we  found two bras she liked. We picked out matching panties for her and a few pairs for me. We took our time going through the store…found some ‘maybe next times’ and lots of  ‘oh that’s pretty, but it would never fit either of us’.  I don’t think we were being really obvious that we were shopping for both of us…not that that should have mattered to anyone.

 

♀ was still browsing around while I went to pay for our stuff. There were two cash registers on opposite sides of a little island in the middle of the store. There were two or three women in line on one side and Christina was paying for her stuff on the other side so I stepped in behind her. The cashier finished with Christina then told me her till was closed and I would need to get in line on the other side. I was a little put off, but maybe she was leaving for her break and besides we weren’t in a big hurry.  So I got in line and a couple of minutes later another woman got in line behind me and the cashier with the closed till said to her, “I can take you over here.”  I was next in line so didn’t make a fuss, but I was sure thinking ‘what a bitch.’

 

When we got in the car I asked Christina if I could see what she bought. She handed me the bag and her purchases were neatly folded and wrapped in tissue paper. My purchases…just tossed in the bag. I really felt like these two cashiers treated me badly because I’m a guy. It’s not like I was just hanging out there by myself  leering at women and making them feel uncomfortable. I’ve seen men being asked to leave the lingerie section of department stores for doing that. I know that some women don’t like men to be there so I try extra hard not to be ‘creepy’, but there was no reason for these two employees to treat me like that. 

 

Speaking of pretty lingerie…

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

After three weeks in the  Garden of Eden,  God  came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God.  

“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and  sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful,  but I have just one problem.

It ’s these three breasts You have given  me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking  them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.  They’re a real pain.”

And Eve went on to tell God that since many  other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.  She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more  “symmetrically balanced”.

“That’s a fair point,” replied God, “But  it was My first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so  I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are  right. I will fix it up right away.”

And God reached down, removed  the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks  passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

”  Well, Eve, how is My favorite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she  replied, “But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off.  The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate  except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said,  “You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do  need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let’s  see….where did I put that useless Tit?”  

Now  doesn’t THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?

My uncle sent me this list today. The pics at the end just amused me.

Have a good day. That is all.

sss

 

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.�
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  2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.�
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  3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.�
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  4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.�
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  5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?�
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  6. Was learning cursive really necessary?�
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  7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5.  I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighbourhood.�
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  8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.�
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  9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.�
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10. Bad decisions make good stories.�
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11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.�
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12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray?   I don’t want to have to restart my collection . . . again.�
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13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my 10-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.�
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14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this – ever.�
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15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello?  Hello?  Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.  What’d you do after I didn’t answer — drop the phone and run away?�
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16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.�
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17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.�
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18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day, “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?”  How the hell do I respond to that?�
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19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
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20. I disagree with Kay Jewellers.  I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.