♀, Christina & I were out shopping a couple of months ago and one of our stops was La Vie en Rose. If you’re unfamiliar with the name, it’s a chain of lingerie stores. They definitely cater to skinnier women, but we’ve found a few things there before and Christina had never been and they were having a panty sale so we went in.  I guess we were in the store for close to an hour. ♀ tried on a few different bras. I’m good at going back to get a different size when she’s in the change room and she trusts my opinion on what looks good on her. Eventually we  found two bras she liked. We picked out matching panties for her and a few pairs for me. We took our time going through the store…found some ‘maybe next times’ and lots of  ’oh that’s pretty, but it would never fit either of us’.  I don’t think we were being really obvious that we were shopping for both of us…not that that should have mattered to anyone.

♀ was still browsing around while I went to pay for our stuff. There were two cash registers on opposite sides of a little island in the middle of the store. There were two or three women in line on one side and Christina was paying for her stuff on the other side so I stepped in behind her. The cashier finished with Christina then told me her till was closed and I would need to get in line on the other side. I was a little put off, but maybe she was leaving for her break and besides we weren’t in a big hurry.  So I got in line and a couple of minutes later another woman got in line behind me and the cashier with the closed till said to her, “I can take you over here.”  I was next in line so didn’t make a fuss, but I was sure thinking ‘what a bitch.’

When we got in the car I asked Christina if I could see what she bought. She handed me the bag and her purchases were neatly folded and wrapped in tissue paper. My purchases…just tossed in the bag. I really felt like these two cashiers treated me badly because I’m a guy. It’s not like I was just hanging out there by myself  leering at women and making them feel uncomfortable. I’ve seen men being asked to leave the lingerie section of department stores for doing that. I know that some women don’t like men to be there so I try extra hard not to be ‘creepy’, but there was no reason for these two employees to treat me like that. 

Speaking of pretty lingerie…

Cheers,

♀ & sss

After three weeks in the  Garden of Eden,  God  came to visit Eve. “So, how is everything going?” inquired God.  

“It is all so beautiful, God,” she replied. “The sunrises and  sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful,  but I have just one problem.

It ‘s these three breasts You have given  me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking  them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes.  They’re a real pain.”

And Eve went on to tell God that since many  other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc.  She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more  ”symmetrically balanced”.

“That’s a fair point,” replied God, “But  it was My first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so  I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are  right. I will fix it up right away.”

And God reached down, removed  the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes.

Three weeks  passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

”  Well, Eve, how is My favorite creation?”

“Just fantastic,” she  replied, “But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off.  The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate  except me. I feel so alone.”

God thought for a moment and said,  ”You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do  need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let’s  see….where did I put that useless Tit?”  

Now  doesn’t THAT make more sense than all that crap about the rib?