My Uncle sent this to me…

Actual letter to the Canadian Passport office

Dear Mr. Minister,

I’m in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.

How is it that Radio Shack has my address and telephone number and knows

That I bought a t.v. Cable from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal

Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?

My birth date you have on my social insurance card, and it is on all the

Income tax forms I’ve filed for the past 30 years. It is on my health

Insurance card, my driver’s license, on the last eight goddamn passports

I’ve had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I’ve had to fill out

Before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those

Insufferable census forms that are done at election times.

Would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother’s name is

Maryanne, my father’s name is Robert and I’d be absolutely astounded if that

Ever changed between now and when I die!!!!!!

SHIT!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. I’m really pissed off this morning. Between you

An me, I’ve had enough of this bullshit! You send the application to my

House, then you ask me for my fuckin’ address. What is going on? You have a

Gang of Neanderthal assholes workin’ there!

Look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I don’t want to dig up

Yasser Arafat, for shit sakes. I just want to go and park my ass on a sandy

Beach.

And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shit whether I plan

On visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do

Something weird to a chicken or a goat, believe you me, I’d sure as hell not

Want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, ’cause I have to go to the other end of the city and

Get another fuckin’ copy of my birth certificate, to the tune of $60!!!

Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot to

Assist in the issuance of a new passport the same day??

Nooooo, that’d be too damn easy and maybe make sense. You’d rather have us

Running all over the fuckin’ place like chickens with our heads cut off,

Then find some asshole to confirm that it’s really me on the goddamn picture

- you know, the one where we’re not allowed to smile?!  (fuckin’ 

Morons)

Hey, you know why we can’t smile? We’re totally pissed off!

Signed - An Irate fucking Canadian Citizen.

P.S. Remember what I said above about the picture and getting someone to

Confirm that it’s me? Well, my family has been in this country since 1776

When one of my forefathers took up arms against the Americans. I have served

In the military for something over 30 years and have had security clearances

Up the yingyang.

I was aide de camp to the lieutenant governor of our province for ten years

And I have been doing volunteer work for the RCMP for about five years.

However, I have to get someone ‘important’ to verify who I am - you know,

Someone like my doctor WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN COMMUNIST fucking CHINA

We went to the first ever Meet n Greet at the Libido Lounge last week.  I’m sure there must be days when it all seems overwhelming (12 week old baby, on-going health issues, Jennifer & Jason both working), but every time we go there’s more and more done and the new space is really starting to take shape.

 

As with Deviant Dining, there was no playing at the Meet n Greet, but the vibe was definitely sexier. We’d probably met or at least seen half of the other attendees before, but it was nice to actually talk to people and find out more about who they are, why they joined the lounge, their experiences to date or, if they were new like us, what they hope to get out of it…or maybe a better way to put that would be; what do they bring to the party. Everyone was really friendly and the conversations we were involved in felt easy and natural.

 

There was a guy wearing a kilt and ♀ wanted to know what he was wearing underneath and with a little help from Jennifer, she asked him (not much).  A woman showed us all her tattoos and her anal piercing. At the time all I could think of was ‘owch’, but later I wondered how she kept it clean while it was healing and just how painful was pooping? Maybe I’ll ask the next time I see her. Or not.

 

We also met a Bondage Master. I’m not certain that’s what he calls himself, but he does the bondage for Pinup-Bondage. I wasn’t sure if I was even really interested in bondage, but he was so enthusiastic that it was hard not to get excited about it. He explained that there’s no nudity or violence in his scenes. There’s no photo-shop and the backgrounds are very stark. The photos are all about the models and the pretty things they wear and of course the bondage. Also, every series of photos tells a story. I’ve really been enjoying looking at his website…even the free stuff is great. ♀ wants him to tie me up.

 

There was a woman selling Hanky Panky stuff.  We bought some very nice foot cream and have our eye on a few other goodies. The evening finished up with a Burlesque Dancer. She’s going to be offering classes that will include not only the dance, but also costume design and choreography.  ♀ has taken Belly Dance (fun) and Pole Dance (hard) so she should take Burlesque as well…dontchya think?

 

I had to go straight to work after we left the Longue so we didn’t have time to stop for our usual debriefing, but we did have some time while I drove ♀ to her car. She had a good time as well, but she did admit she was struggling with how she would react when I was with other women (like it is inevitable?).  I wrote her an email when I got home the next morning…

 

I am troubled that we are both feeling like the other person is not listening. There have been times when 1 or the other of us has felt that way, but I can’t recall a situation where we’re both feeling like that.
We’ve spent years exploring and developing the rules and boundaries of our particular dynamic. I am the happiest when you take charge and treat me like a sissy. I truly love when you think of new ways to assert yourself. I simply cannot wrap my mind around why you would think that we will need (or want?) to put all that aside. Pretending to not be us isn’t going to make either of us happy.
In all honesty, the only physical contact with another woman I can picture you allowing (in the beginning at least) would be things like brush and braid her hair, file and massage her feet, kiss her boots, serve her drinks and snacks or the scenario I described with a submissive female where I get him ready for you and she gets you ready for him…or  getting pegged… or put on one of those machines and getting milked…or you only allow me to have sex with you and my legs have to be spread or none of the above…maybe you just want me to be at your beck and call…or maybe the only contact you will allow on a particular night is preparing men for you or ‘forcing’ me to do things with another man…
If things evolved and sometime in the future you wanted me to actually have sex with another woman I would fully expect you to have strict rules about it…maybe things like no kissing or only if I have my legs spread or only if I’m blindfolded or tied up or whatever tickles your fancy at the time. (I would expect you to dictate the terms of engagement no matter who the person is…male, female, lounge member, friend)
This needs to be a positive experience for both of us and the only way I can see that happening is if you are in charge completely.
Â
I love you so much Dear. Please don’t ever forget that.

Cheers,

♀ & sss

It feels like a Chet Baker kind of V-Day this year…

 

 

I couldn’t decide so posted them both. Do you have a preference?

 

*If you start the instrumental version 5 seconds before the other, they actually match up quite well. It’s kind of a cool effect

 

Earlier this week, our friend C sent us a poem that her 17 yr old daughter wrote. I wasn’t going to post it here, but that was then and this is now and the darkness of it fits my mood.

 

 Valentine Poem

 

 

Valentine’s Day sure is dandy

It’s chock-full of heartbreak and candy!

Bleeding love and chocolate cremes

Strawberry swirls and ruined dreams

Those little chalky hearts that make your teeth crack

Long stemmed roses, and a knife in the back

The air is full of sweet coconut and fear

(I’m pretty happy I’m single this year.)

 

 

Please don’t think that I want to be single. It’s just been a tough week and I’m feeling like ummm just not very romantic.

 

Cheers,

 

sss

You know how some people are associated with ‘X’?  Like say the woman who gets a hummingbird or dragonfly or duck-billed-platypus or whatever tattooed on her ankle and then everyone thinks she must really like that and it’s the gift of choice and she ends up with so much of it people start thinking it’s an obsession and they buy even more of it for her.

 

Well ♀ is in that situation with Betty Boop and I think it might be my fault. We both like Betty Boop. She cute and flirty and fun, but I think I started it when I got this airbrush done at a Valentines dance a couple of years ago.

 

Now she has more Betty Boop stuff than you can shake a stick at. This is just a sample…

 

Is there something unusal that you’re associated with? We’d love to hear about it!

 

HHNT,

♀ & sss

 

PS: Just in case you’re not into the whole V-Day thing, Blue-Eyed Vixen had this to say

Just when I think the Writing Muse has left me forever, she comes back. But she’s a big tease. She gives me just enough inspiration to amuse the readers of somebody else’s blog.

 

I’ve been thinking about this post card from this weeks Post Secret

Do you think the deception really matters to either of them? Speaking as one who had many online relationships before I met ♀, I’d have to say as long as they both stay true to their character, than no, it doesn’t matter at all.

 

I must admit I don’t read Secrets of a Blue-Eyed Vixen every day (have you seen how big our blog-roll is?) so it is possible that she’s talked about cuckolding her hubby before and I missed it. I don’t think her hubby is quite as submissive as I am, but apparently the thought of being cuckolded has been a huge turn-on for him for a long time. Last week during a girls trip to Vegas, Vixen went from fantasy to reality. She writes about it here and here. What I found absolutely fascinating was her hubby’s comments on the posts. Whether it’s from the male or female point of view pretty much everything I’ve read about cuckolding has been fantasy,  like here at SSS, or very established cuckold relationships. It was so cool to read not only how Vixen felt about it, but also the internal conflict her hubby is having with it.

 

Speaking of internal conflicts, ♀ & I took another step towards getting more involved with the Libido Lounge.  We went to the Play Party Etiquette class on Sunday. Jennifer was amazing as always. I know I rave about her every time I mention her and if you know her, I’m preaching to the choir and if you don’t you’re probably saying ‘OK, we get it. she’s super-duper-awesome’.

 

Anyway, the class had tons and tonnes of information, ideas and suggestions. As with other visits to the Lounge, we stopped on the way home to debrief. We talked about what we learned, saw, felt, thought…

 

The class did what it was supposed to. There’s a couples only play party in a couple of weeks and we’re seriously thinking of attending. Before the class, we’d both said that was more than we were ready for. I think the apprehensions we still have are internal more than external. We both trust Jennifer and the people we’ve met so far have all been nice so we’re not really worried about being treated badly or being pressured to do things (or people) we don’t want to do.

 

One of the first things Jennifer said was to know your own boundaries, but ♀ pointed out that we’re still exploring so it’s really hard to say definitively this is in and that is out and in the heat of the moment when one or both of us are thinking with our little brains and not our big brains, it’s not hard to imagine things going sideways. We both know that experience will be the best teacher, but still, at this stage of our development it’s a little intimidating.

 

I know everyone reading this thinks I’m the one pushing to do more and more, but I have reservations as well. ♀ still has some body image issues, but seriously…long blond hair, big beautiful breasts, gorgeous hips, she’s approachable, has an infectious laugh..all she needs to do is wear something sexy and just be herself and even if she doesn’t actually play with anyone, the only way she wouldn’t have a good time would be if she was trying hard not to have a good time.

 

I, on the other hand…when we decided to join the lounge I told ♀ that I would be joining as a sissy. There really isn’t any point in going to events wearing one of my two pairs of boxers. We joined to meet like-minded people and to expand our horizons and ’sissy’ is definitely a part of that. I believe her when Jennifer says shame and ridicule aren’t allowed in, but a middle-aged guy in a pink baby-doll is (I think) more than just a little outside the box and yeah, it’s a bit intimidating.

 

We’re leaning towards going to the next play party in a couple weeks. Stay tuned!

 

Cheers,

 

♀ & sss

Yes, I know I haven’t been very consistent with the posts lately. I’ve been a 6 night/week kinda baker since before Christmas and we’ve been doing a lot of research into getting a side business up and running and ♀ started her 2nd level of sign language and we’ve just been busy.

 

Speaking of baking, I found this very cute costume at Lollipop Lingerie. It only comes in small and medium so we won’t be ordering it, but still..cute.

 

When I need to list my occupation for something I’ll often say Dough Surgeon. Some people question it, others (like the woman who did our mortgage) just put it in. I had a passport application rejected because of it and  Elections Canada  didn’t think much of it either. I was on Twitter a few days ago and Miss Teresa called me a Dough Sturgeon.

 

That reminded me of a funny story.  A few years ago ♀ took me to La Conner, Wa for a little R&R. If I remember correctly we had just served papers on my Ex and decided to skip the country for a couple of days. The first night we were there, we were having dinner at a little restaurant just down the street from the B&B we were staying at. It was a nice evening so we sat out on the patio. The dinner special was sturgeon, just brought in that morning and since I had never tried sturgeon before, I had to order it.

 

We had just started eating when another couple sat down at the table beside us. The woman was trying to decide if she should try the sturgeon (for the first time as well). I leaned towards  her and offered to let her try mine. She was surprised, but did try a bite. She agreed it was delicious. Then I announced in a very serious voice that in my country if a woman eats a man’s sturgeon she is considered to be his wife. I said I would allow her to finish her meal with her date, but after dinner she would need to leave with ♀ & I. She and ♀ and the waitress all laughed, but the guy didn’t think I was all that funny.

 

In other news, Mini (13) beat me bowling last week. It’s all down hill now.

 

♀ started her period 16 days after the last one ended. Not certain what that means. Perimenopause, perhaps?

 

 

A couple of nights ago, ♀ was teasing me with a small bullet vibrator (attached to a cord). She held it against different places to see what I like the best. She had lube on it and was holding it against the tip of my cock and then she slipped it inside. We were both pretty surprised when it slid in so easily.  ♀ was worried that it was going to hurt me, but I gotta tell you…it felt amazing. Incredibly intense. I’m curious to find out what would happen if she gave me an orgasm with it inside my cock. Do you think it would hurt? Would the bullet pop out like a champagne cork? Or would my penis swell up like a balloon?

 

 

I’ll be sure to let you know.

 

I guess that’s all for tonight.

 

Cheers

♀ & sss