Our washer & dryer are making noises like they don’t want to live much longer and ♀ is expecting a good tax refund this year so we’ve been looking at what’s available. We were in Sears on the weekend and a sales woman was showing us a set that was in our price range. She started telling ♀ about all the bells and whistles. ♀ stopped her and said, “he does the laundry, not me.”  The woman laughed and kept telling ♀ how great these machines are. ♀ stopped her a second time and said, “My only concern is how much they cost and will they fit in our laundry room. So please just tell me your best price and get me a tape-measure and while I’m measuring them you can tell the laundry-bitch how much easier these machines will make his life.”

We walked through the shoe department on the way out the store. I saw an adorable pair of pumps and held them up for ♀.  A guy walking towards us said to me, “they don’t really suit you.”

♀ didn’t miss a beat. She said, “I don’t know. They’d match his toe nails.”

We stopped at another appliance store on the way home to compare prices. They didn’t have much that I was interested in, but ♀ was very interested in the coin operated machines. She was very amused at the idea of making me pay for the privilege of doing her laundry.

That appliance store was right next door to a vacuum place we had been in a few months ago. We took our old Electrolux to get serviced (now there’s a machine that lasts forever). It turns out we just needed a new power-head. The sales guy attached a fancy self-propelled power head to our vacuum cleaner and tried to pass it to ♀. She looked at him like he was handing her poop-on-a-stick. Mini was with us and he thought the idea of ♀ vacuuming was hilarious. He told the sales guy, “my dad does all that sort of stuff.”

Truth be told, ♀ does lots of house work, but it’s fun to let the world know that I’m her bitch.