By the time Junior was 14 there was a steady stream of girls going through our house. He played football and whenever we drove to a game there was always one or two or three girls wanting a ride. I didn’t know if he was bonking any of them yet, but it was going to happen soon. One night I had a thought. I knew he’d had sex-ed classes in school, but he didn’t have a job…where would he get money for condoms?  Also, those first couple of times with a girl are pretty stressful, would he actually be able to get one on in the heat of the moment? (I sure couldn’t).

So I gave him a box and suggested he practice a few times on his own. I told him just to let me know when he needed more, that I’d be happy to get them for him. I finished up our little chat by telling him to always keep it wrapped because I wasn’t into fucking anyone’s grandma. I’ve always been quite proud of that line.

I don’t have a very good filter, but I do have a real knack for causing acute embarrassment so he usually tried to avoid me meeting most of the girls. If ♀ was at home, she’d insist on being introduced. From what I can remember, most of the girls were pretty much interchangeable. Tiny brunettes who didn’t say much when I was around. I don’t know if that was just an age thing or he’d told them not to talk to me. Regardless, they all seemed basically the same to me. Not that I have anything against tiny brunettes…It’s just that we’re talking about very young girls and embarrassing is one thing…I try not to be creepy.

One of the girls who I did become aware of was Krayon and she lived in the same townhouse complex as we did  so she was over at our house quite often. There was an annual BBQ at this complex and ♀ & I were attending it the summer Junior was 15. There was about 20 or 30 people sitting around eating and drinking talking when this woman walked up to us and introduced herself as Krayon’s mother. The very next thing she said to us was, “I’ve had three daughters who have had babies in high school so you better make sure your son keeps ‘it’ in his pants because I don’t want to Krayon to be the fourth.”

Seriously, what the hell do you say to something like that?

Cheers,

♀ & sss