I had no idea that one of my favourite activities has a name. The inter-net is a wondrous thing.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

Oh, I didn’t tell you what happened after the Dad’s Day BBQ at Junior & Krayon’s place. Junior and I were kinda drunk by the time things started to wind down. So ♀ drove Mini (he was allowed to spend the night) & I home. Krayon drove Junior and the baby over to our house as well because…Mini decided to get his head shaved.

 

This was a big deal because his hair was down below his shoulders and he didn’t tell his mother he was going to get it cut. Well, what he said just before ♀ started with the clippers is he might have mentioned that he was thinking of getting it cut.

 

He is still very attached to his mother so for him to do something like this without clearing it with her was…encouraging!

 

♀  didn’t use the blade on him, but she did take it down as short as the clippers would get it. We took lots of pictures, but sharing them here would probably be a bad idea.

 

 

He hasn’t been back since, but I did talk to him a couple of nights ago. His mother doesn’t like the new look. I, on the other hand, am very amused.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

 

I could hear the buzzing of a vibrator hours after I had tucked her in.

 

“Do you need some help getting back to sleep?”

“Yes please.”

 

I inserted two fingers and she came almost immediately.

 

“Thank you Princess.”

“Pleasant dreams Mommy.”

 

Sleeping Venus by Paul Delvaux

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

I wrote a post a few days ago about what I did for Dad’s Day. 

 

Being a huge fan of older cartoons, I would have preferred Tweety Bird or Bugs Bunny in drag (♀ already has the Betty Boop market cornered), but really, how many guys get any lingerie for Father’s Day? Probably not many.

 

Actually, the lingerie was in impulse purchase. ♀ was at the mall buying our new 600-thread count sheets (so soft) when she saw the Hello Kitty stuff.  She spoils me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HHNT

♀ & sss

♀ bought me ‘Hello Kitty’ lingerie for a Father’s Day present. It came with a tank-top, panties & eye-shades in the exact same shade of pink as my twitter page.  I’ve never watched ‘Hello Kitty’ and probably never will, but this set is cute and girly and comfortable and it amused the hell out of ♀ to buy it for me. Seriously, how many other dads got ‘Hello Kitty’ lingerie for Father’s Day?

 

Mini was over on Thursday and he was telling me a friend of his got his Dad a coffee mug with this on it for Father’s Day…

 

I asked him if he thought his friends dad would see the humour in that.

Mini said he has no sense of humour at all. He’ll absolutely hate it. That’s what makes it so funny!

 

He’s coming over later today and he & ♀ & I are going over to Juniors for a BBQ. It’ll be his first Father’s Day as a daddy. That still seems strange to say. The Princess…1 month old and weighing 10 lbs…sent ♀ a text message the other day saying ‘I miss you Grandma. Come visit me.’ So we went over and after ♀ got her baby-fix…OK, that will never happen…before we left, ♀ let me hold the Princess. I had her on my chest with her head on my shoulder and she started to get fussy. When Mini was a baby he liked it when I laid him along my fore-arm with his head in my hand and his legs sticking out past my elbow. Anyway, The Princess started to squirm so I turned her over and went to lay her on my arm and Junior dove across the couch to try and catch her. I told him I hardly ever drop babies.

 

Last night ♀ & I were planning on going to this class and our second play-party at the Lounge. ♀ decided that she wasn’t going to allow me to have any orgasms for an entire week before the party.  I had performance issues at the first party and she thought a week of frustration would fix that problem. I liked that she took charge like that, but a week without lovin’s…not so much. It had been a challenging week for both of us for a bunch of different reasons and we were both pretty…no, really cranky by the time I got up Saturday afternoon. I was starting to think maybe a play-party wasn’t going to be the best plan for the day. Then I got an email from Jennifer saying they were regretfully cancelling the evenings activities. Less then an hour later my penis was in ♀ bum, a rather large dildo was in her pussy and we were both having toe-curling orgasms. And guess what? No more crankiness!

 

♀ made two of my favourite dishes for dinner…beef stroganoff and trifle. There was lots so we invited my mom and step-dad over. We did consider going to see the strippers after they left, but instead I put on my new ‘Hello Kitty’  lingerie, gave ♀ a full body massage and then we fucked some more. Yippee!

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

A few weeks ago we received a nice email from Andrew of  Private Lifestyles asking if we’d like to review their new movie An Open Invitation. He said that Paul Fishbein of AVN has said “it’s the best couples’ film to come along in years”.

 

Now my experience with ‘couples’ porn is that it has a really lame story that I, as the man, am expected to sit through with my woman so she can focus on the story and not have to admit she’s watching porn. I don’t know if  it’s the frustration of having to sit through the terrible acting or the lame-ass story, but the porn never seems to be as good as the films that just focus on the fucking. Fortunately, I am married to a woman who has a similar attitude towards porn and I no longer need to feign interest in stupid movies while waiting for the smut. If fact the few times we’ve watched ‘couples’ porn we’ve ff through the story to get to the good bits.

 

But Andrew did send us a nice email and the trailer looked like the movie might have possibilities…

 

So we said we would review it and he sent the 2 disk set and a press release by courier the next day. It was the following week before we had the chance to sit downlay down and watch it. We got all comfy in bed turned it on and something  just wasn’t right. We could hear all the background noise, like traffic going past, doors closing, glasses clinking, bed-springs squeaking, but absolutely no dialogue. Normally that wouldn’t be a bad thing at all, but the press release made it sound like knowing what the actors were saying would really add to the enjoyment of the movie. Now if you can believe it, we spent the next 30 minutes scanning through both disks hoping to find dialogue! We didn’t find any and it was so distracting that we couldn’t even enjoy any of the sex. We ended up putting a different movie on that didn’t have talking and wasn’t supposed to.

 

I emailed Andrew and told him what had happened. He emailed back within the hour, apologized profusely…said we’d been sent a ‘working copy’ by mistake and offered to send us a proper set right away. The next day someone else emailed us to say they wouldn’t be sending out a new set, but they would set up a free Gamelink account so we could watch it online.  The problem with that is we have a desktop computer in our office and a net-book (with an itsy-bitsy screen) and neither are really great for watching porn together. We ended up having it play on the net-book for audio and tried to sync it up with the mute disks on TV.

 

You might think that because of  my lack of enthusiasm for ‘couples’ porn and the hassles we had trying to actually watch this movie, we might have really hated it, but surprise surprise we liked it! The story was about a couple who are in a bit of a sexual rut, they accidentally meet another couple and get introduced to the ‘swinging’ lifestyle. The acting was believable, the story worked well and the sex was surprisingly hot. How hot? Well, ♀ got excited enough that I was able to fist her. Believe me, she needs to be really turned on for me to get one of my big baker hands inside her.

 

Anyway, the movie  finishes with both couples going to a real swingers party. So you got to see 127 (so they say) real swingers along with the porn stars at this big swanky party. At the end…after all the fucking and sucking was done…there were some interesting interviews with the swingers.

 

So there you have it…couples porn doesn’t always suck.  You can order it here.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

OK, I’m almost embarrassed to be posting this.  17 months between chapters is pathetic. As I said in the Prologue these characters  keep nattering at me and I guess they’ll keep at it until I finish telling their story. There’s no video at the end of this chapter.  I might add one later, but I wasn’t sure if that idea was really working or not.

 

6:47. The confusion only lasts for a minute or two. It’s warm, even down here. It must have been a real scorcher, but at least I’ve slept through the worst of it. I can smell the bacon grease  before I get to the top of the stairs. The dishes are right where I left them (surprise). The cat has pushed open the screen above the sink to get outside and the kitchen is full of flies. Fuck, what a mess.

 

I get the left-over pizza and a cola from the fridge. The breakfast of champions. I call the China Lilly to order some weed from Dave and his mom answers the phone. “Dave not here.”

 

It reminds me of that Cheech and Chong routine and I try to string her along. “It’s me, Dave. Open up I’ve got the stuff.”

 

But she has no sense of ha ha. “Dave not here”, and hangs up.

 

I decide to go for a drive and maybe I’ll bump into Dave and score some weed. That’s the plan anyway. While I’m looking for him I drive past The Great Impasta. Twice. I think  I’ll just stick my head in to see if Lynda is working. It’s not like I’m actually looking for her. If she’s there I might talk to her for a minute, but if not it’s no big deal.

 

Lynda’s there and she looks happy to see me. OK, I admit that I’m not disappointed she’s there. Her shift is done in an hour and she tells me I can wait if I want. She tells me she can only serve me pop because with the beer strike the cops are really watching restaurants for under age drinking. I sit at a corner table drinking water-downed root-beer and try to ignore the other two waitresses who keep looking over at me.

 

After work she wants me to drive to her house so I can talk to her dad. I’m thinking no way in hell do I want to deal with her drunken father.  I  tell her I’m not ready for that yet. I can tell she’s disappointed, but she doesn’t push the issue. I stop outside the China Lilly and tell her I’m just going to run in and see Dave for a minute. She says it would be really hard for her not to smoke up if I do and would I mind not getting any right now? Hell yes I mind. There’s no fucking beer and you want me to go without weed as well? She says even second-hand pot smoke is probably really bad for the baby. I ask her if she’s quit smoking cigarettes, trying hard to keep the edge out of my voice. She tells me she’s down to six a day, like it’s some big accomplishment. I want to tell her that six first-hand smokes are probably worse then a bit of second-hand pot smoke, but for some reason I don’t.

 

We get to my house and I tell her the Grumpies have gone to Vegas for the long weekend; like it’s something they do all the time. It just sounded better than ‘my rich uncle is treating them for an anniversary gift and it’s only the second time either of them has been on an airplane.’ We walk in the house and now added to the greasy, egg-coated dishes, pizza box, empty pop cans and flies, there is a half-eaten bird that the cat has left in the middle of the floor. The whole thing is pretty disgusting even by my standards. Lynda says she can’t believe my mother would leave with the house looking like this. Instead of telling her the truth, I say ‘well they left in a hurry’.

 

She offers to help me clean up the kitchen. I dispose of the bird, kill flies and dry dishes. She does all the actual cleaning. It gives us something ‘normal’ to do for awhile and makes things less awkward. She chatters about her job, school, her dad and sister. I ask about her mom and Lynda just says she left. Other than that I don’t  know what to say to her. If she’s uncomfortable she doesn’t show it, but I don’t really know  her so how could I tell? I go outside with her when she has her sixth cigarette and I manage not to nag her. While we sit there in the dark and she smokes I ask about the baby for the first time . She tells me she’s ten weeks and the doctor says everything looks fine. She heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. She says I should come to the next doctors appointment…if I want.

 

After she’s done her smoke we sit there not talking for awhile. I don’t know why I’m so nervous.  I lean over to give her a kiss. Our lips are dry and tight, our teeth click together, she tastes like an ashtray, my arms seem to get in the way. Worst kiss ever. I’m not sure what to do or say next and she just sits there. I want to get high. I want a beer. I want this to feel…right. Finally, I ask if she wants to have a shower. She jumps. I guess I was louder than I meant to be. She says yeah, sure.

 

We go inside and she asks if I can show her around the house first. She’s only seen the kitchen. I think maybe she’s stalling, but then I think I’m a jerk for not showing her around before. I give her the grand tour and finish with my bedroom and realize she’s seen this room before. We stare at each other until she asks if I still want a shower. I say yes and we both turn around to get undressed. When I turn back she’s got one arm across her boobs and her other one is in front of her pussy. I hate that this is so uncomfortable.

 

We’re in the shower and she says I can wash her if I’d like so I take the bar of soap and I wash her so fast my hands are just a blur. I wash her like its a race and if there’s any soap left on her when the water gets cut off (and that could happen any second) I’ll lose. Then I hand her the soap with a big dumb ‘beat that’ kinda grin on my face. She takes the soap and starts washing me. Slowly. And the light bulb in my head goes on. This is much nicer.  She starts at my shoulders and works her way down my chest. I never knew that my nipples are sensitive or that right below my hip bones is ticklish. She soaps up my cock and balls and ten seconds later I shoot my load.

 

Fuck.

She laughs. I swear this is the most embarrassing moment of my life.  OK, here’s the truth…I’ve only had sex with 3…no…2 other girls and like the night I knocked-up Lynda, drugs/alcohol was a big factor every time. I know she was going out with Carlos for like a year so she’s probably done everything, but still I’m eighteen and she’s only sixteen. I’m suppose to be the experienced one. I’m such a fucking loser.