After 4 years of writing SSS, the post that still gets the most hits  is the Half-Nekkid Menstrual post. Seriously, it’s like 5 times any other.

 

I don’t think I ever mentioned this before, but several of the commenters on that post recommended the Diva Cup so we bought one and she loves it. I know this is like 4 years late, but if you were one of the people who mentioned it, “Thanks!”

 

It’s not surprising that I think ♀ has the sexiest ‘menstrual’ picture on the net, but this one is kinda nice as well…

 

 

Be safe tonight Kiddies.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

I must admit that I’m having a tough time wrapping my head around the fact that in six months the bakery will be closed and I’ll need to find another job.

 

 

 

 My always helpful uncle sent me this today…

 

A retired man went into the Job Centre in downtown Nanaimo British Columbia and saw a card advertising for a Gynaecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details. The clerk pulled up the file and read, “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, and then rub in soothing oils so they’re ready for the gynecologist’s examination. The annual salary is $85,000/year, and you’ll have to go to Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.”

“Good grief, is that where the job is?”

“No sir, that’s where the end of the line is right now.”

 

 

Personally, I think I’d like to work at a company like this…

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

I admit that I’m not much of a traveler. In the nine years that ♀ & I have been together, I’m pretty sure I’ve never been the one to say, “let’s go…”

 

So for me to say Vegas has never been on my list of destinations, is really just a half-truth. I don’t have a list. I like being close to home. ♀, on the other hand, does have a list and Vegas has always been right near the top of it. The bakery will be closing in six months, my boss owed me a few days off, ♀ found a great package deal and I really didn’t have any great excuses for not going.

 

After Lord Batsu and I finished fucking ♀ senseless for the second time, Lady Batsu made us a hearty lunch and Lord Batsu drove us to the airport (thanks again, you two are awesome).

 

We picked the Imperial to stay at because the price was right and it was smack-dab-in-the-middle of the strip, not because we thought it would be luxurious. However, when we checked in (sometime after 11 pm) I told a little white lie and said it was our 10th anniversary. They upgraded us to the Love Nest suite. What made this suite special was mirrors above the king-size bed and also above the bath tub…the really big bath tub…

 

 

We had never stayed in a room with mirrors above the bed before (or above the tub either) and I must admit it was fun finding positions that were visually entertaining. For instance that first night ♀ wanted to watch herself get fisted. Keep in mind that it had only been about 8 hours since Lord Batsu and I had taken turns fisting her. She needed a long soak in the big tub when we were done.

 

We arrived late Sunday night and left early Wednesday afternoon, so we really only had two full days. Three would have been better. Not that we could do and see everything in three days, it’s just I don’t think my senses could take much more than that. We did a lot of walking, shopping and fucking. There was some eating and sleeping and a little bit of drinking and gambling.

 

Some of the hi-lights were…the sexy red shoes and red corset we bought. I had the best Manhattan I’ve ever had. We had deep-fried dill-pickles at BB Kings Bar & Grill (those Americans will deep fry anything). Going up the Eiffel tower at night was cool. The living statues scared the hell out of ♀. I loved the rare book store ($6500 for a first edition of the Cat in the Hat).  Zumanity was fucking amazing. We had never seen any Cirque Du Soleil shows before and wow. We didn’t get to sit on the red couches, but we did have front row seats and I think that was the best live show I have ever seen anywhere. Seriously, it was even better than my kids grade 1 Christmas concert.

 

Do you read HyperSexualGirl? She’s a young woman living in Australia and before that she was a stripper in Las Vegas. She sent us a very nice email with lots of suggestions of places to go and things to see, but we never even left the strip. I’m keeping that email though because if when we go again she had lots of great suggestions. We had planned on going to see some strippers, but the closest we got was this place…

 

 

The first day we walked in one direction along the strip and the next day we walked the other way. Unfortunately we left Caesars Palace (it was right across the street) until the very end. I would have liked to spend some more time exploring there. We did have a nice meal at Rao’s and I copped a feel on the way out…

 

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

A forward from Uncle Don…

I’ve been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best “birth” story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame.  Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they’re welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. ‘This is Luke, my baby brother, and I’m going to tell you about his birthday.’

‘First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom’s stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord.’

She’s standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I’m trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

‘Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, ‘Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!’ Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. ‘She walked around the house for, like an hour, ‘Oh, oh, oh!’ (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)

‘My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn’t have a sign on the car like the Domino’s man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.’ (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall)

‘And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!’ (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)

‘Then the middle wife starts saying ‘push, push,’ and ‘breathe, breathe’. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom’s play-center, (placenta) so there must be a lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.’

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat I’m sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it’s show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ‘Middle Wife’ comes along.

 

Did I ever tell you about Miss Moore, my grade 2 teacher?  She was beautiful and she often wore very short skirts (this was probably 1969-70) Anyway, I always tried to sit right behind the slowest kid in class because Miss Moore would bend over his desk to help and I would get the best view.

 

Cheers,

sss

The Princess had her very first sleep-over at our house Saturday night. You might have thought (like we did) that honour would have gone to Krayon’s parents, but with so many grand-kids already, I guess the novelty had worn off…that and Krayons mom had a bad cold.

 

It was Krayon’s 21st birthday so they were having a party and it seemed like a good opportunity to have the Princess spend the night away. Krayon spent an hour giving ♀ last minute instructions (because babies are so much different now) before Junior helped me tether the car-seat and baby in. I told him that it was going to easier for all concerned to do this at 5 months than it would be waiting for a judge to order it at 8 years (Mini). He said he knew that and he also knew how excited his mom was about the night. ♀ got in the car and told Junior that Krayon was crying and needed a hug.

 

It’s only a 10 minute drive, but the baby fell asleep and when she woke up at our place and her parents weren’t here she was NOT amused. That was the only really nerve jangling time. Well not having the boob at bedtime pissed her off (I can understand that), but we managed.

 

Krayon managed to not phone, but she did text ♀ several times. Junior called me about 1am after I sent a text asking if I really needed to wake the Princess up every 2 hours to feed her…she was getting annoyed. He said he knew I was kidding and was just calling to…well, he was a little drunk and was getting bored of the drama and by the way, how did things go tonight?

 

The surprise of the night was anytime the baby woke up or was fussy it was Grandpa who was able to get her settled again. She would never admit it, but I think ♀ was a bit put out  by that. Especially since little kids are usually afraid of me.

 

Don’t tell anyone I said so, but this grandpa gig isn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

I never finished telling you about the rest of our visit to Casa del Rudy.  As luck would have it, we had enough time to play again the following afternoon before we left for Vegas. There was no real scene planned and no dressing up. The three of us just went out to the play space and got busy.

 

What was so noteworthy about this particular play time was that I actually had an orgasm. That has never happened with anyone else around before so it was pretty exciting. ♀ was on the gyno-table. Lord Batsu was standing beside her making out and playing with her breasts while I fucked her and lo-and-behold I was able to come.

 

After I’d been ‘forced’ to lick her clean, Lord Batsu & I took turns fisting her. Then we used a variety of toys until on in her until she’d had enough orgasms to last until we got to Vegas. From what I can remember, that was quite a few.

 

So, on to the HNT part of this post. When I wrote about playing the last time and the challenges ♀ had getting her costume and keeping it hidden from me she felt I left out the most important part. Her exact words were, “You didn’t show my ‘fuck-me’  boots!”

 

 

 

 

Unless you’re a woman (or know one) who has larger than average calves, you have no idea how hard it is to find sexy boots that fit. We have spent many frustrating hours over the years looking for such an item. It must have driven her crazy when she did find a pair to not be able to tell me about it.

 

Anyway, there really is a Vegas post coming soon.

Until then, HHNT

♀ & sss

Hey,  have you missed us? Sorry about that. I really don’t have much of an excuse…well actually I have lots of excuses, but  I can hear my uncle saying, “excuses are like assholes. Everyone’s got one…and if you have kids, you have more than one.”

The past month hasn’t been a complete loss though. There has been lots of stuff going on with us and I’ve been keeping a list of topics I want to blog about. The trouble is whenever I sit down to write, I seem to lose my motivation.

 

But it’s a new day and a new week and I want to tell you about a DVD  Good Vibrations sent for us to review back in June. OK, first of all I need to explain why it took us from June until about three weeks ago to even watch it. The disk was Heads Up: The Official Guide to Fellatio hosted by Dr. Carol Queen. I’ve read some of Dr. Queens erotica and I was looking forward to watching the disk, but it arrived in our mail box hours (seriously) after we had taken Jennifer’s Cock Sucking class. As I’ve mentioned before, Jennifer’s classes have a lot of information to digest and things to practise and we didn’t think it would be fair to review a DVD on the same subject in the same week. So it got put on a shelf and that was pretty much that.

 

Now some of you might be thinking, ‘hey, sss talks about all the housework he does. Doesn’t that include dusting? What kind of sissy misses a DVD on a shelf for five months?’

Did I ever tell you about having to paint the living room when I was a kid and rather than moving the piano, I just painted around it and no one noticed until about ten years later when my parents were moving out of the house?

 

Anyway, we finally did watch it and now I’m writing about it so quit giving me a hard time or I won’t tell you how much we liked it. In Jennifer’s class, she showed us many many techniques. We practised on dildos and could ask questions and it was a lot of fun. When we tried what we learned at home it certainly heated things up, but the class itself wasn’t particularly erotic. I don’t think it was meant to be. It was meant to be fun and informative and it most definitely was.

 

I think that’s sort of what I was expecting from the DVD. I knew there would be real penises involved instead of dildo’s, but I kind of thought it would still be…I don’t know…classroomish. Because that’s what educational videos are all about, right?

 

Wrong! It started out with Dr. Queen introducing the subject with the aid of a carved wooden penis and before every segment she’d come back on to describe the next technique and the advantages to both the giver and the receiver. So that part was expected, but after that it was more like well done porn. Lots of camera angles, good lighting and the couples seemed totally into each other. The techniques in each segment were there…like how to deep-throat or not or how to use your hands…but that really wasn’t the focus. The focus was really hot blow-jobs and I gotta tell you it took us three night to watch the entire DVD.

 

But the best part…OK, I need to be clear about this…I thought this was cool and different, but ♀ was really really impressed…seriously if she ever met Dr. Queen in person ♀ would hug her and tell her ‘thanks’. The best part of this DVD was that the people (I don’t want to call them ‘actors’ because it just felt so natural) they were all different shapes and sizes and ages and colours. Every time we watched a segment and got busy, after we finished ♀ would comment on how amazing it was to see ‘normal’ people in such hot scenes.

 

So we were both impressed with this DVD and even if you’re like the best cock-sucker on the block, it would still be hot to watch!

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

We played with Lord Batsu for the second time this past weekend. As I mentioned before he had a very imaginative idea for what he wanted to have happen, but he wouldn’t tell us what it was. He sent us attire instructions that we were to keep hidden from each other. It was tough to do, but I’m so glad we did.

 

He’d been looking at my Fetlife page to get ideas (this was before ♀ came up with Okusan Bitch) and the only picture I had posted there was this…

I use it pretty much anytime I’m asked for a profile picture. Oh, and to the anonymous commenters who keep leaving nasty messages about copyright infringement…the artists name is Dave Bathgate and I have his written permission to use this image so piss off.

 

Anyway, Lord Batsu had the brilliant idea to recreate this cartoon with real people. Cool idea, right. Lady Batsu was originally supposed to be taking the pictures, but unfortunately was really sick.  So Lord Batsu had to use the timer. It was a challenge, but this is what he finally came up with…

 

 

 

Playtime was allowed to start after Lord Batsu got the picture. First I noticed how big Okusan Bitch’s strap-on was…

 

 

I tried to take it in my mouth…

 

 

Then the panties came off…

 

 

Then Lord Batsu gave her a lesson on how to use a flogger…

 

 

Pinching after flogging…hurts…

 

 

But not nearly as much as trying to take that big strap-on up the ass…

 

 

She did manage to get about a third of it in, but that’s all I could do. She says she’s going to buy a big one for ourselves so I can practise.

“oh goody”, says I, somewhat apprehensively.

 

HHNT

♀ & sss