Years ago when I was being treated for depression, one of the first questions that the psychologist asked me was if I could remember ever being happy? It didn’t matter if it was a period of time or  a day or even just a moment from my past. He wanted me to try and remember what ‘happy’ felt like.

We tried something similar with ♀ mojo the other day. The phones were off and we didn’t need to be anywhere anytime soon, so there was no rush and no pressure. I was giving her a massage and she asked me to remind her of  good times that we’ve had together.  So I just started mentioning a sentence or two of a wide variety of happy times…the first time I heard her laugh on the phone, our first kiss, the night she proposed, dune-buggy riding on the Oregon coast, our honeymoon, long walks on the beach, our Alaskan cruise, skinny dipping at Shuswap Lake…

After a long massage, I used the Wartenberg wheel all over her back and legs. She rolled over and I used it all over her front until she was squirming. She set the pace for our love-making and she decided the how things unfolded. There was no pillow-talk. We just took our time and really focused on ‘us’. It took a while, but she was able to have the biggest and most intense orgasm that she’s had in at least a month…maybe even longer. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy to hear her have a Big O.

We were having a  shower after and she admitted that when I was telling her about all the good times we’ve had, she caught herself thinking about the negative as well. Like when I was talking about our honeymoon, she thought, ‘I was a lot skinnier then’. She caught herself doing it and was able to put those thoughts out of her head.

Neither of us is thinking, ‘oh boy, her mojo is back’, but at least she knows she can still have really good orgasms and I think that’s a very good thing.

Cheers,

♀ & sss

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3 Comments »

1. 

   That water looks cold.

   

   Comment by C. — December 22, 2010 @ 11:53 am

2. 

   Resurrecting my mojo has been a protracted journey back to me. Your comment about her thinking of the negative happened to me a lot and still can. Essentially, my mind can shut my body down so well that no amount of praise or overt arousal from my husband can push me toward my own arousal. Once I started reading erotica again and thinking about sex more often on my own terms, e.g., more focus on sensations and less on aesthetics, I could get myself to a place that was so ready to have sex with him that I could ignore my stretch marks, scars, and general averageness.

   What never changed during all that closed-off time (this was a very long time that culminated with possibly a year of no sex) was how much I loved my husband. I’m so happy I am back to being able to express that with satisfying physical intimacy for both of us again, and I hope your baby steps lead y’all back to your happy place.

   Comment by J — December 22, 2010 @ 3:30 pm

3. 

   Thanks J for the wonderful comment. I am looking forward to when the ‘old me’ comes back sexually. Sex is a big part of my and sss connection and we are both trying very hard to keep that connection strong in other ways. Your commment is an inspiration for me to keep tugging away at the return of the long lost mojo. Thanks again

   Comment by Okusan-Bitch — December 23, 2010 @ 12:02 pm

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