I have been a baker for 25 out of the past 29 years. 22 of those years have been with the same bakery. Sales at our shop increased every year for the first 19 years I was with the company. 4 years ago when my boss was renegotiating our lease he had a ‘no demolition’ clause included. We had just finished doing major renovations on the shop. We knew the mall was for sale and he wanted to make sure that if the new owner wanted to do something major we wouldn’t just be tossed out.

Sure enough the mall (and several adjacent properties) was purchased by a property development company and they had big plans. They would build two huge towers (6 times the height of any other building in town) with retail on the ground floor and residential above. Because of our ‘no demoltion’  lease they would move us into the new building. Then they’d tear the mall down and build 2 more towers. It was going to be great they said. The first year of construction wasn’t to bad. What we lost in our regular foot traffic was almost made up by hungry construction workers. The second year wasn’t so good. The city needed to tear up the roads leading into the mall to replace sewer and water lines and the roads themselves needed to be changed to accommodate for the new towers. There were many days that the city would have one street completely closed,  the construction company would have the other street closed and the mall would be completely cut off.

Then the economy tanked and all projects were put on hold. To make a bad situation even worse, the landlord didn’t tell any of the anchor stores that the mall wasn’t going to be coming down anytime soon and they would be welcome to stay, so the liquor store, drug store and grocery store all moved out. So the mall is empty shops, second hand stores and us. And those 2 new towers…none…absolutely none of that retail space has been leased and the last we heard less than 25% of the residential has been sold.

So after 19 years of growth all it took was 3 years to run a thriving business into the ground. My boss told me on Saturday that I should start looking for another job. He’s not sure when he’ll shut it down, but he wanted to give me as much notice as possible because I have a mortgage and child support and I’ve been a good employee and well, we’re friends. He turns 60 this year and the past 3 years have aged him terribly.

Baking is kind of a funny trade. When I started my apprenticeship almost 3 decades ago there was lots of work. Grocery stores had real bakeries in them, there were lots of smaller independent shops around and logging and mining were thriving so there were lots of camps to go work in. Now it’s all different. Grocery stores just have bake-off shops ( just there for the aroma), bakery chains are all basically push-button so they don’t need journeymen, the baking that gets done at the very few independent shops is mostly just done by the owners and as for camps…well the economy tanked. Starting a shop of my own is waaay out of my price range.

So what the fuck do I do now? Realistically, I only have 15-20 years left to get out of debt and save for some sort of retirement. I’m not suggesting that I’ll be useless by the time I’m in my mid-60′s, but I had my first paying  job when I was 10 (delivering the Star Weekly on Saturday mornings) and I think 20 years from now, I’ll be looking forward to not having to worry about a pay-cheque. How that will happen, I have no idea. My Lotto retirement plan isn’t working out to well.

♀ has been trying to stay positive. She says she going to start whoring me out…domestic services, personal grooming services and as a willing ‘bottom’ to men and or women. Actually, when we were in bed last night she was telling me how she’d be my pimp and all the things and people I would be expected to do and she’d keep all the money and would give me a small allowance only if I behaved and if I didn’t she’d beat me and…

…believe it or not, it led to some very passionate fucking. Kinda surprising considering where my head has been at this weekend.

Cheers,

♀ & sss

♀ & I finally joined the Libido Lounge this past weekend. We’d talked about joining several times during the past couple of years, but always found excuses not to do it.  Some of  it had to do with our difficult schedules; I work nights, she works days.  Part of  it was I think ♀ was unclear on the range of activities that are available,  but honestly I think the biggest obstacle was I don’t have a very good track record for listening to her cues. A situation presents itself that sounds like something we might have talked about or role-played, I get caught up in the moment and ♀ gets put in an awkward position. And I don’t mean that in a good way.  What’s different now?  We’re going to start off with activities where those sorts of situations won’t be the focus…like this or this or this.  There lots of other things that sound like tons of fun, but ♀ needs to feel confident that I can control myself and that’s fair. No alcohol to cloud my judgement will be a big help for that.

So, there were 7 new members at the orientation and Jennifer really made us feel comfortable. The facility was nice, but they’re moving soon and we could tell she is very excited about that. There was lots of information to digest and 2 hours flew by. Jennifer is one of those people who has a ton of different things on the go all the time, but during those two hours she was able to focus just on us. I’m looking forward to getting to know her better. Before we left, Jennifer had ♀ try out the sybian. No attachments and fully clothed, but still kinda hot.  After the orientation, ♀ & I stopped for dinner and talked about what we’d learned and ♀ seemed more confident about the whole thing. When we got home she was looking at the calendar of events and saying ‘well that might be fun and maybe I could take a friend as a guest to this other thing…’  I’m excited about the prospects…in control, but excited.

Oh, a few weeks ago Jennifer blogged about a very busy day and at the end of it realized she hadn’t really had anything to eat all day. So when we went to the orientation, I brought her a loaf of multi grain sourdough bread with dried cranberries in it. As soon as I gave it to her her face lit up and she said, “I know who you are!” and she gave me a big hug.

Speaking of bread…usually the only people who call the bakery at night are my boss and ♀. Last Friday night the phone rang for a 3rd time:

Hello, —bakery

What days do you make gluten-free bread?

The gluten in our bread is always free.

None of your bread has gluten in it?

Most of it has gluten. It’s just unlike other bakeries, we don’t charge you for it.

I don’t think you understand. I don’t want any gluten in the bread.

Why not? It’s free.

Ummm…is there anyone else there I can talk to?

Cheers,

♀ & sss