Dear Sir;

 

 

When you defile my wife this weekend, how would you prefer to have her sex presented (besides wet and wanting); bushy, bald or neatly trimmed?

 

 

 

 

I am eager to help her be as desirable to you as possible and anxiously await your reply.

 

 

Yours truly,

 

sss

vulvalicious:
	something so amazing that you could fill three vulvas with spunk from your pulsating love wand.

Did I ever tell you about my vasectomy?

 

 

I was 17 the first time I asked a doctor for one and not surprisingly, he said no. The next time I asked was hours after Mini was born. He & his mother were still in the hospital and when the doctor came in to check on them I told her I wanted to get snipped. She said I had to wait until Mini was at least 6 months old (back in the day my mom needed my dad’s written permission to get her tubes tied). Anyway, I said if that’s the way it needed to be than so be it. She gave me the post-dated referral and six months to the day I had my appointment with the urologist.

 

 

I needn’t have been in such a rush, Mini was almost two before she had sex with me again. I think we only fucked 4 or 5 times in the 3 years after that and ♀ had her tubes clamped weeks before I met her, so my little guys really wouldn’t have had much opportunity to get into trouble.

 

 

OK, where was I? Oh, yeah…I had an appointment with the urologist a couple of days before I was scheduled to get snipped. I think he was about 60, obese, sweating profusely.  He couldn’t find the pamphlet he usually gave to his patients so he drew a diagram on a napkin from his lunch.  I asked him about a new procedure I had heard about called the ‘scalpel-less vasectomy’. He snorted and said doctors only use that on Asians and Indians because their penis’ are so small (I swear it’s true).

 

The procedure was to take place in Day-Surgery of the local hospital. I don’t remember anyone else being around. The doctor called me into the little room, told me to drop my pants and hop up on the table. I think it might have been a gyno table. There was a little portable cassette player  and he put a tape in…I guess to help me relax. I’m not entirely sure about this part, but I think this was what he put on…

 

 

 

Once that was playing and I was all settled, he announced that his nurse hadn’t shown up so he’d have to shave me himself. He sat down on a stool between my legs and proceeded to dry-shave my balls. And not just a little patch, but the entire underside of my scrotum. It was not a lot of fun, but I suppose it could have been worse.

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

I woke up when ♀ got home from having breakfast with her brother. I hadn’t had enough sleep. I felt thick and stupid and cranky. I ate the leftover pizza from the night before then crawled back under the covers still wearing sweatpants and her fuzzy pink housecoat. Two hours later I was awake again, drenched in sweat.

 

♀ was chatting with someone online. She’d lost her pants. I kissed her cheek and she told me to release her sweater puppies. I undid her bra. I went in the other room and turned on the idiot box. The football game I was going to watch was 24-1 at halftime. ♀ went into the bedroom. I switched to Rocky & Bullwinkle.

 

 ”Come here, Princess.”

 

She was spread-eagled before me. Feet on the floor, bent at the waist, upper body on the bed. I took off my clothes and stood between her legs, rubbing my thickening cock between her ass cheeks.

 

“Is this an acceptable way for a slut to present herself?”

“I’m certain a presentation like this will get lots of  attention.”

“It’s to bad there aren’t any real men here to appreciate it. Put your face down there and lick my panties.

When I wrote this post last night it had very detailed descriptions of the two times we fucked yesterday. It was day three of her period so there was much blood and showers and laundry…lots and lots of laundry. We’d been away from home the past two weekends and I’d been a 6-night a week kinda baker for three weeks before that so this was the first full weekend we’d spent at home in a long time. The sex was great, but when I read the post this morning it didn’t sparkle. There seemed to be a lot of ‘tab A went into slot B and several orgasms were achieved’. It was a boring read so I deleted it.

 

After one of our showers yesterday she told me she wanted me to do something different with her hair. Remember I took a hair braiding class a few years ago? Well, she’s decided I need to expand my repertoire. So with the help of several tutorials on Youtube, I learned how to do a ‘fishtail’ braid.

 

Later in the day she brought out a french manicure kit she’d bought awhile ago. I’ve been painting her toe nails for a long time, but she doesn’t usually let me do her fingers…I’ve always had trouble colouring within the lines. This french manicure kit is an entirely different level of  fiddly. We did her fingers together and she only needed to fix 2/10. Then she told me to do her toes myself. That is really freakin hard to do. I got frustrated and asked what the point of little white stripes on the tips of  little tiny toe nails. She said I needed to know lots of ways to make her look beautiful for other men.

 

I’ve been thinking about that. Do you think men…I mean ‘real’ men notice things like fishtail braids and french pedicures?

 

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

So, did you have a good holiday weekend?

We’ve been out of town for almost a week; visiting relatives, meeting some new people, eating some great food, tasting some new beers and during the past two days…spending way to much time in the car. The trip home from her dad’s house should have taken about 3.5 hours, but it took 6.5 hours. Bloody tourists!

 

There was so much to do once we got home.  Two different people had given us big bags of rhubarb from their gardens and ♀ had bought a big flat of strawberries. She started cleaning and chopping that all up (she’s planning on making pies and jam and a crisp later in the week), while I started unpacking and emptying the litter box and watering plants and starting the laundry. We hadn’t had Internet access for most of the week so email needed to be checked and snail-mail needed to be opened and phone calls needed to be returned and about 9 pm he both realized we were starving hungry.

 

Other than the rhubarb & strawberries, there was no fresh produce in the house and all the meat was frozen so we decided to go out for dinner. That meant we needed to get dressed because our clothes had fallen off the moment we’d first walked in the door. After 9 pm on a Sunday night meant the first two sushi places we went to were closed and we didn’t feel like pub food and by the time we found a place open with good food (I don’t do the fast-food thing) we were getting cranky.

 

But Earl’s was open and the food was tasty and so was our waitress and we started feeling stronger…still  bagged, but we felt like we could get through the rest of the evening without to much stress. We decided that when we got home I’d shave my face, ♀ would shave my head, we’d have a shower and climb into bed while she was still awake enough to have lovin’s.

 

You know what they say about the best laid plans…I had somehow missed the pocket in our suitcase that had her medication in it. So I had to go to our storage locker and pull them all out…we’d only taken one, but it’s part of a set that fit inside one another.  So I had to take them apart like those little wooden dolls to find her pills and then put everything away again. By the time I got back she was writing another email. It was in regard to summer employment so it was important, but it just made things later.

 

The 11 pm news was just coming on and she suggested we climb into bed to watch the first part of the news and then shave and have our shower. Now I have to say we love our bed. Seriously, it is so comfortable…if you were ever to lay in it you would never want to get out of it.  When ever we’re away, it’s our bed that we miss more than anything. ♀ got herself all snuggled in and then asked me to do her feet. I’d forgotten to pack the file so they were getting rough.  I filed them smooth and rubbed lotion into them while we watched the news. What I didn’t realize is that while I was rubbing her piggies, she was rubbing her clitty. She did let me smell her fingers at one point, but they smelled like strawberries and I thought her occasional moans were because I was doing such a great job on her feet.

 

By the time I put the file and cream away and realized what was really going on, she was well on her way. I crawled under the covers and my mouth replaced her fingers on her clit and two of my fingers easily slipped inside and it didn’t take long for her to come. She usually only orgasms once in a session and if she come first, she encourages me to come quickly after her.  However, this time she was still really horny and was clearly enjoying how I was fucking her. I would pull out to the very tip of my cock then slowly re-enter her…long slow thrusts while she played with her clit. She likes being able to close her legs when she’s almost ready to orgasm, but I wouldn’t let her close them. In fact, I used my knees to keep her as wide open as possible while I fucked her.

 

“You need to keep your legs spread so every one can see what a  horny little slut you are.

All the men like watching me fuck your sloppy wet cunt.

They’re all stroking their big thick cocks waiting for their turn after I’m done using you.

Come on my cock Bitch. Let them all see what they’ll be getting.”

 

Her second orgasm seemed bigger than the first (it was louder at least). She hadn’t even stopped shaking when I told her to roll over and get on her elbows and knees. She obeyed (thrilling for a sissy) and offered me her juicy wet cunt. I grabbed her luscious hips and fucked her hard and fast. I called her every filthy name imaginable while my thighs slapped against her ass and her cunt went squish squash squelch.

 

My orgasm was long and intense. I tried to push every last drop of cum deep inside her hot wet pussy. I was empty, but I wasn’t done with her yet. She rolled over onto her back and I handed her the Wahl. That looked after her clit and I started to fuck her with her favourite glass dildo. With every thrust of the toy I could see our juices squishing out of her cunt. It didn’t take long for her to get to the edge. She tried to move the vibrator away, but I grabbed her hand with my free hand and held the vibrating tip tight against her clit while the toy went in and out of her like a bumpy glass piston.

 

Her third orgasm of the night was…well ‘intense’  just doesn’t quite describe it. She was soaked. The sheets were soaked. I had managed to reduce my Goddess to a quivering mass of post-orgasmic goo. And yeah, I’m pretty proud of myself.

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss

We almost didn’t go to Jennifer’s G-spot class a couple of weeks ago.  The one negative with not needing to be on the pill is menstrual cycles aren’t quite as predictable and we weren’t sure if  ♀ would be done her period. Jennifer emailed back and said ‘Everyone is on their own massage table.  You are not even that close to one another.  There are gloves provided if need be.  Bring a dark towel for ♀ to lay upon.  Periods are not an issue at all, and I would not give it a second thought  ….  show up, you’ll both take so much form the class.’

Jennifer really is an amazing woman. It was her first day away from the Pickle and even though her breasts were over-flowing and she was worried about a nasty medical procedure scheduled for the next day, she was able to switch on ‘instructor’ and give the three attending couples her undivided attention. The first part of the class was an anatomy lesson with some Q&A. One of the things I learned, but wasn’t all that surprised about was that the G-spot isn’t always in the same ‘spot’.  All of ♀ sweet-spots tend to move around a bit. If I didn’t know better, I’d think she moved them herself  just to keep me on my toes.

 

Next came the hands on part of the class. I was concerned that the combination of not being quite done her period and a new setting and other people around that ♀ wouldn’t be able to focus, but she was great. Jennifer would give instructions on different ways to touch the G-spot to provide different sensations. Several times ♀ said, ‘wow, I’ve never felt that before.’

 

Somehow, ♀ got it stuck in her head that she shouldn’t come until Jennifer said so. Jennifer was still giving suggestions and I could tell ♀ was getting really close. I kept telling her to just let it go, but she seemed to think that it would be rude if she came before Jennifer finished teaching. Truly, there is no way to reason with someone on the brink of a big O.  She did end up having her orgasm, but she somehow managed to do it silently. Believe me when I say ♀ doesn’t do many things quietly and big O’s…ummm no. Maybe it was just the setting because I didn’t hear either of the other women having theirs either.

 

So the following weekend was supposed to be Cock-Sucking class, but Jennifer was having some medical issues and she needed to cancel it. ♀ was out with our friend Christina and was telling her about the class we took and the one that was canceled. She was surprised that we were taking classes like that.

“Doesn’t sss know where your G-spot is? Don’t you know how to suck cock?” She asked.

 

♀ told her yes and yes, but you can always learn something new. 

That night when we were making love, ♀ told me that if we had taken the cock sucking class she would have expected me to do most of the learning so when she cuckolds me,  I’ll be able to ‘fluff the bulls’.

 

I’m not entirely sure if she was kidding.

 

Cheers,

 

♀ & sss

♀  is joining  a massive study aimed at determining if a test for the human papilloma virus (HPV) can replace the Pap test as an effective tool for cervical cancer screening. Click here for more info.

 

She’s done all the paper work and her first physical since joining the study is next week. I offered to shave her yesterday and she said she wanted to wait until after her doctors appointment.

 

She hasn’t been shaved since Exploratorium so she’s kinda bushy. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (some of my best friends have pubic hair). It’s just that she’s usually shaved or at the very least, neatly trimmed and it just struck me as odd that she wanted to be au naturale for her doctors appointment.

 

It’s 4:45 in the A of M as I’m writing this so I can’t go and ask her, but I think being bushy for her physical might be standard proceedure for ♀. If this is true, the really suprising thing is it took me eight years to notice.  This sissy usually knows within a day when her period is going to start…so to miss something so obvious is, well… I should hang my head in shame.

 

So, I have a question…if you are the proud owner of a vulva, do you put much thought into how it looks before you go for your physical?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                           

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cheers,

♀ & sss