December 2008
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Last Minute Gift Ideas

December 16, 2008

Do you need some last minute Christmas gift ideas?

How about stained glass?


<click here to see the entire collection>

Or how about some sexy balls for your tree?

xmas-balls<Click here to see the rest of them>

Many thanks to C. for pointing them out to us!


sss & ♀

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RIP Bettie Page

December 13, 2008

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<Click here for her obituary>

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Simpsons’ kiddie porn

By Denette Wilford



Man convicted of ‘Simpsons’ child pornography

Cartoons showing sex acts involving children based on Simpsons characters are pornographic, a judge ruled.

In Australia’s New South Wales Supreme Court, Justice Michael Adams ruled that a fictional cartoon character was a “person,” reports the Herald Sun.

Last February, Alan John McEwan was convicted of possessing child pornography and using his computer to access child pornography.

“The alleged pornography comprised a series of cartoons depicting figures modelled on members of the television animated series The Simpsons,” the judge said.

The cartoons showed characters such as Bart, Lisa and Maggie Simpson having sex.

“In my view, the magistrate was correct in determining that, in respect of both the Commonwealth and the NSW offences, the word ‘person’ included fictional or imaginary characters,” the judge said.

McEwan was convicted and fined $3,000 and placed on a good behaviour bond.

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December 9, 2008

Hey there, it’s really us. Can you believe it?

There are still a few bugs to work out, but I think we’re well on our way.

Please say hello and We should have archives and blogroll and new content here soon.


♀ & sss

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The Bruised & Battered HNT

December 4, 2008

It’s been a challenging week around here. I’m sure you’ve gathered by now that the switch to our own domain has not gone smoothly and as I write this @ 5:37 Wednesday morning, I really don’t know when we’ll be up and running in our new home. Our first attempt took 3 days to get launched and 4 hours for Host Monster  to delete it for indicating there would be ‘adult’ content. We’re into day 4 of trying to get launched with Go Daddy. The issue now is technical and well beyond my understanding. The bottom line is I can’t get Wordpress to install and nobody seems to be able to tell me why or what to do about it. Go Daddy says it’s a Wordpress problem.  Wordpress doesn’t actually have a help line. They have forums…I can read them, but until I actually have a site up I don’t technically exist and can’t ask questions there. One helpful Go Daddy tech suggested I get someone in who can read code or script or whatever the hell it’s called to sort it all out for me. Yeah, maybe I could ask one of my new neighbours.

“Hey, new neighbour…I’m a cross dressing sissy. I write a blog about my sex life and it includes lots of pictures of my wife and I naked…want to help me set up my new domain?”

During my last phone call with Go Daddy, yesterday afternoon, I was assured that in the next 24-48 hours they would install Wordpress for me or at the very least have some sort of solution/resolution. So we shall see. I shudder at the thought of what my phone bill is going to be at the end of the month.

And now the other challenge of the week. I’ve been donating blood for about a year. I go every 8 weeks and this week was my 8th donation. Mini comes with me to keep me company and to get juice and cookies of course. They have a clinic in a big hall every 2nd week and there’s usually lots of people there, but the appointments are all scheduled and we’re usually in and out in 30-40 minutes. Things were not going well on this day and it was 45 minutes before I even got a cot. I had never seen the nurse that was going to suck out my blood before and I hope I never see her again. She couldn’t find a vein to drain. I suppose that happens, (though after 7 successful visits it was a bit surprising), but this women wouldn’t give up. Once she had the needle in for the third time she spent a good 10 minutes moving it around inside my arm trying to hit the sweet spot.

You can’t really tell from this picture, but this bruise is 8 inches long and goes almost all the way around my arm. Oh, and as we were leaving, Mini took a header in the parking lot and tore up his foot, knee and elbow. It was the big joke around here…Mini gave more blood at the clinic then Dad did.




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An Adventure

November 30, 2008

Well, this has certainly been an adventure. After 2 days of trying to get up and running Host Monster realized I might be showing naughty bits on my blog and deleted it.

“Oh sheep shit.” I said sweetly.

I have found another hosting company that does allow naughty bits, but it’ll take a day or two to get everything switched over. <The name and location will all stay the same> and I’m certain it’ll be just wonderful.

 If I had hair I would have pulled it all out by now.

Thank you for your patience


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November 28, 2008

Now that we’re settled into our new home, we’ve decided we should move SSS as well.

Maybe trying to do this on the American Dead Turkey Day wasn’t our best idea ever, but that’s never stopped me before. Once we start clicking buttons, I don’t know how long we’ll be gone or if I’ll be able to post here to let everyone know where we are.

However, I can tell you where we hope to be very soon <RIGHT HERE>

You will come and visit us, right?



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Half-Nekkid Knee Socks

November 27, 2008

Have you been thinking maybe you’d like to get a sissy for yourself? Maybe some of your friends have sissies and have been telling you how great they are. Maybe you’ve read the brochures or watched one of the many sissy infomercials on late night television. You’re thinking hmm maybe, but you’re not quite sure.

Well let me tell you there are more advantages to having a sissy then you might have thought. Sure we’ll do pretty much any domestic chores you can think of and sure we’ll lay awake at night thinking of new ways to pamper you and make you happy and sure you can use and abuse us any way you like. Hell, some of us will even pay you for the privilege.

But did you realize that a well trained sissy makes an excellent personal shopper? ♀ bought a blouse last week and when she tried it on at home it didn’t fit. (A well trained sissy won’t ask why you didn’t try it on at the store) She asked me to exchange it for her. Now let me just say, big malls are not my favourite places and I don’t like crowds and I really don’t like Christmas shopping.

But I strive to be a good sissy so I went to the mall with her blouse…oh yeah… and two large french knives that I wanted to get sharpened. The parking lot was full and it was difficult to find a spot. Apparently, nobody told these people about the economic meltdown because the mall was packed. There was Christmas music playing and as I walked past the line of whinning children waiting to see Santa while swinging my bag of large knives, a lyric from a Pink Floyd song popped into my head. I bet you didn’t know that One of these days I’m going to cut you into little pieces meshes perfectly with the music to O come all ye faithful. It certainly amused the hell out of me.

I dropped the knives off and went into the Bay to exchange her blouse. They didn’t have that blouse in her size, but I spent some time looking through the racks and found a completely different blouse that I knew she’d like…oh yeah and when she tried it on at home…it fit. I was just getting ready to leave when they announced over the PA system that a jewellery store in the mall had just been held up and they told everyone to stay away from the exits. Just my luck…panic and chaos in a mall crowded with Christmas shoppers and I was unarmed. Drat!

There really wasn’t much panic and chaos where I was so I stayed in the Bay and found six pairs of panty’s for ♀. Seriously,  they were all for her. I didn’t get any for myself. Then I saw  knee socks and I had this great idea that ♀ needed Pippi Longstocking socks. I’m sure ♀ & I had never ever discussed Pippi Longstocking or even knee socks for that matter, but I decided I wanted to get her really bright knee socks. You know what I mean, right? Striped knee socks that scream “here I am”.

The Bay only had soft subtle colours so I ventured out into the mall and went to four other stores looking for Pippi Longstocking socks. Most of the staff I asked had no idea what (or who) I was talking about. A show of hands here…do you know who Pippi Longstocking is?

I was in Sears when the guy from the knife store called my cell to tell me my knives were ready and then they announced that it was safe to leave the mall. I found these socks. They weren’t exactly what I was looking for, but ♀ really liked them.




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There’s a link in the sidebar to the earlier chapters…

I work four days on and two days off at the mill. During my probation I work two weeks of days, then two weeks of afternoons, then two weeks of night shift. I go through that rotation twice. That way all the foremen get a good look at me and they all fill out assessment forms at the end of the three months and then Mr. Peters and two other managers decide if I have a job or not.

It’s mid-August and I’m exactly half way done my probation. I’ve just finished my first two weeks of night shift and I feel like a zombie. The good news is that going from night shift to day shift means I actually get three days off. The bad news is it’s been over 100 degrees here every day for the past week and there’s no relief in sight. You can’t even imagine how hot it is at work. We drink gallons of water and take salt tablets and our boots fill up with sweat. It’s gross, but the really bad news is we’re into the third week of a beer strike. All the beer here comes from two breweries and they’re both on strike and it’s stinking hot and everyone is thirsty and cranky.

The closest lake is an hour’s drive from here. There’s a river that goes through town. It’s cold as hell and flows way to fast for most people to swim in, but a couple of years ago they opened a nice park (upstream from the sewage treatment plant and the sawmill) and they built a huge horse-shoe shaped dock out into the river. The water is still as cold as hell, but at least you won’t get swept away and when it’s this hot out the river is damn near refreshing.

I consider stopping for a dip on the way home, but I’m just too tired. I’m going to have a cold shower and go to sleep in my subterranean basement before the house heats up.  I’m daydreaming about how good a cold beer would taste when I pull into the driveway and almost hit my dad as he walks behind his car. He tells me to park on the street. They’ll be leaving in an hour. He tells me my Uncle Charlie is treating them to three days in Las Vegas. He says they didn’t tell me earlier because they didn’t want any big parties happening while they’re gone. Mom comes out with a suitcase and says they trust me to be responsible and act like an adult while they’re away. I think if they trust me why did they wait until now to tell me they were going away? And what the hell does ‘act like an adult’ mean? We don’t really think of you as an adult. We just want you to act like one. Put on a good show for the neighbours.

Mom makes me breakfast before they leave and I promise to do the dishes before I go to bed. She says if I let egg dry onto the dishes in this heat they’ll never come clean and she’ll just have to throw them out and we’ll have to use paper plates and plastic forks and her mother scrimped and saved to buy her those dishes.  “He said he’d do them.” Dad says as he pushes her towards the door.

I ask them if they have everything: Tickets, toothbrushes, condoms. He says yes, yes and I took yours it’s not like you were using them. Mom slaps him on the shoulder. I ask if they want me to make sure the iron is unplugged. Dad says no it’s in the trunk. Mom pretends to look cross and gets in the car. It’s one of those family jokes. Whenever we went away, she was certain she’d left something plugged in or unlocked and she’d worry about it until Dad drove back home to check. One trip it was the iron and she got more and more upset about it. Finally Dad pulled over, got out of the car, opened the trunk, got the iron and put it on her lap and without saying a word started driving again. Funny stuff.

I stay in the cold shower until my head starts to hurt. One of the guys at the mill told me he buys a bag of ice on his way home from work, fills his bath tub up with cold water, tosses the ice in and soaks in the tub until the ice all melts. He lives in a second floor apartment though.  I drip naked through the house and can feel the temperature drop as I go down stairs. Even though the Grumpies aren’t here, I won’t smoke up in the house. I go outside and check my stash. Nothing but roaches. I pack three into a hash pipe and spark it up. The extra paper almost makes me choke, but I manage to hold it in. It tastes like dirt and ashes, but I don’t care. I’ll call Dave later.

I dream of Liz again. She’s here in my room and she’s smiling at me. Her big green eyes flash mischievously at me like she has a secret and she hasn’t quite decided if she’ll share it. She dances in front of me and it’s hard to focus on any one part of her. My eyes seem to slide all over, like she’s made of glass. I get little flashes…every fourth frame of a movie:  her curly red hair, skin so pale it glows in the darkness, a powder blue bra, then her naked breasts round and firm with tiny pink nipples, a splay of cinnamon coloured freckles goes down her chest between them and seems to cup each breast, a small curly triangle of red slightly darker then her head.

Then I’m on top of her. My face is buried in her hair and it smells like apricots. I hold a breast in my hand. It’s soft and yet firm. I pinch the nipple and she moans in my ear. My cock aches for her and it finds its way to her entrance like it’s always know the way. I feel her legs wrap around me and I slide into her warm wet pussy.  Her tongue slides in and out of my mouth with the same rhythm.

She starts to dissolve as soon as I start to come, like sugar cubes in my morning coffee. That feeling of being inside the girl is never quite long enough and I lay there half asleep, trying to hold onto it for a few extra minutes until the wet spot gets cold and I’m wide awake.

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The Not-Nekkid-At-All Post

November 20, 2008

So, unpacking and setting up our new home has been way much more fun then packing and sorting and getting ready to move from our old home. As I’ve mentioned before, this is OUR first and even though she’s (almost) fanatically well organised and I am so not organised, we’ve managed to do this with very little frustration.

Most of the pictures are up now and it really is starting to feel like home. There is one notable blank spot in our bedroom though. It’s a place of honour above our headboard and it’s reserved for ♀ <Queynte painting>.  We are so excited about getting it. I emailed <Jackie>and she’s very busy with an upcoming art show and has lots of projects on the go so she won’t even be starting ours until early December. That’s OK, we’ve decided the painting is going to be our Christmas present to each other and since I really don’t like Christmas shopping that works for me.


We treated ourselves to a pedicure at < Spa Utopia>this week and it was loverly. I’ve decided I would rather pay a little more to go to a spa like that and get the royal treatment 2 or 3 times a year then to go to a salon in a mall 5 or 6 times a year. You know what was cool about it? The woman who did ♀ raved about how well kept her feet were. ♀ told her it was all my doing. Is it OK for a sissy to feel proud?


Speaking of feeling proud, the lovely and talented Ms Angela of <Zen Fetish> fame had some super nice things to say about yours truly. She’s mentioned me before on her blog, but wow! To have comments like that made by someone who I admire is…well…it just made me feel all…shucks…Thank you Ms Angela and if ♀ wasn’t so good at whispering sweet filth into my ear, I would so have you on speed dial!


A couple of keen-eyed commenter’s noticed the goblet ♀ was holding in last weeks<HNT> picture. ♀ was thrilled you noticed it. We bought a pair of them (they’re hand-made) from a little shop in Nelson, BC this past summer during our road trip and kept them wrapped up to use for a toast to our new home. They lost their virginity the night this picture was taken. I thought you might like to see a better picture of them.


Did you notice they make a very nice pair, but they are not identical? Kinda like us.



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