When ♀ & I met 5 yrs ago, her period was no big deal. The pms mood swings were predictable and manageable. The period itself lasted 3 days with the heaviest flow over and done with by the end of the second day. Most months she was even hornier then usual during those 3 days. She said that my cock felt different during sex, that she could feel every ridge and vein. We would often have great fun getting very messy. A couple of times I’ve even put a pad in my panties after we were done so I could have a period for a few hours. We’ve written things on each other in menstrual blood and I’ve never had any qualms about going down on her anytime.

Ovarian cysts have changed all that. Now her periods are not so happy…for either of us. I don’t think you need to be female to know that the Have a Happy Period  marketing campaign is pretty dumb.  I can’t do the art work on the computer as cool as this, but I do have an idea for a new line of feminine hygiene products.

They would be packaged in a black box (for mood) and in the middle of the box would be a big red dot (duh) in in the middle of the dot would be the product name…

wait for it…

MAN HOLE COVERS

Inside there would be uplifting messages like “When god made man she was only joking”   “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”   “Life begins when the kids move out and the pets all die”.  Women would be encouraged to send in other messages to include.

I even have the marketing plan mapped out. It focuses around a group of 10 yr old boys. Putting their allowances together and scheming to try and get a hold of some of those Man Hole Covers because they’ve seen the ads for those sorts of products on TV and once they get some they’ll be able to do all sorts of cool things; like scuba diving and horse back riding and it looks like everyone’s having a super good time.

What do you think? Should I quit my night job now or should I wait a couple more months?

4 Comments »

1. 

   I saw the campaign on that website, and well…this one had me laughing:

   “You have the right to make it the best period it can possibly be…” like, by slapping someone? And they’re there to help too (do they keep hit men on the payroll?).

   Cysts are unfortunate, and make that time difficult as it is. Even without that, or endometriosis, I can’t think of a time where I’ve said, ‘oh wow, I’m so excited, and content, to have my period.’

   When I do think about it, I can’t understand why essential things, for bodily functions that are a part of life (the other, are condoms), are marketed and sold (often with Goods and Services Taxes, or VAT - for those in the UK, don’t know what the equivalent tax is in the States). They ought to be provided free of charge. It’s really shonky.

   Comment by Anastasia — December 4, 2006 @ 8:55 am

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