There are not many advantages to working nights, but this is one of them. We listened to Orson Welles doing War of the Worlds  last night.

 

 

 

                                                  

 

When ♀ & I met 5 yrs ago, her period was no big deal. The pms mood swings were predictable and manageable. The period itself lasted 3 days with the heaviest flow over and done with by the end of the second day. Most months she was even hornier then usual during those 3 days. She said that my cock felt different during sex, that she could feel every ridge and vein. We would often have great fun getting very messy. A couple of times I’ve even put a pad in my panties after we were done so I could have a period for a few hours. We’ve written things on each other in menstrual blood and I’ve never had any qualms about going down on her anytime.

Ovarian cysts have changed all that. Now her periods are not so happy…for either of us. I don’t think you need to be female to know that the Have a Happy Period  marketing campaign is pretty dumb.  I can’t do the art work on the computer as cool as this, but I do have an idea for a new line of feminine hygiene products.

They would be packaged in a black box (for mood) and in the middle of the box would be a big red dot (duh) in in the middle of the dot would be the product name…

 

 

wait for it…

 

 

MAN HOLE COVERS

Inside there would be uplifting messages like “When god made man she was only joking”   “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle”   “Life begins when the kids move out and the pets all die”.  Women would be encouraged to send in other messages to include.

I even have the marketing plan mapped out. It focuses around a group of 10 yr old boys. Putting their allowances together and scheming to try and get a hold of some of those Man Hole Covers because they’ve seen the ads for those sorts of products on TV and once they get some they’ll be able to do all sorts of cool things; like scuba diving and horse back riding and it looks like everyone’s having a super good time.

What do you think? Should I quit my night job now or should I wait a couple more months?

 

Chips

I had that dream again.
You’d made a pit out of pillows and a tarp.
Filled it with chips.
A fantasy you explain,
not yet a fetish.

You thrill to the crunch of chips on tarp,
oil on skin,
spices on lips
and revel in the sting of salt in scores of scratches,
but me you fuck with indifference.

The pit is gone
when your husband arrives.
He sniffs the air like a balding middle-aged blood hound
“CHIPS!” He snarls.

You drop your glass
it shatters
and I wake up.

I did a very dumb thing this past weekend. I shaved all my body hair off. When ♀ & I started exploring this whole cross dressing  (about 4 yrs ago) sissy (about 6 months ago) thing she made 1 request..that the facial hair and body hair stay on. The facial hair I could understand, but the body hair always seemed a bit…I don’t know…punitive.

Anyway, ♀ was out of town for the day, there were no children about and I’d had a few beers so I decided that since I had the house all to myself I should get dressed up. I opened a brand new pair of panty-hose and just before I pulled them on decided that I really wanted to feel what it was like to pull them on silky smoooooth legs. One thing led to another and before I knew it, everything….I mean absolutely everything from my ankles up to my neck was smooth.

I must admit that new panty-hose on freshly smooth legs did feel very nice and once I finished getting dressed (pink bra with my silicone inserts, waist cincher, lovely pink sweater, tight black skirt, heels, earrings and some eye liner, blush and lipstick…just in case you were wondering) I really did feel very pretty.

Things started going downhill when ♀ came home with a migraine. (anyone out there have a home remedy that works?) After she started feeling better I told her what I had done. She was not happy.

♀ has beautiful blonde hair that is almost down to her butt. She’d been threatening to get it cut because it is such a hassle to comb it in the morning before she goes to work. So one of my sissy duties is to brush and braid her hair every night before she goes to bed. She pointed out that I would be very upset if she came home one day with short hair without ever discussing it with me.

It’s been 3 days and I can’t hold her without prickling her. She says that during sex it feels like she’s being rubbed with sandpaper (and not in a good way) and now I have a nasty rash on most of my body, including my very sensitive arm pits. I worked my first shift of the week last night and as the title of this blog suggests; I sweat. OW!

New panty-hose on freshly shaved legs does feel very nice, but I think once was more then enough for that little experiment.

 

 

 

“Oh damn, I strained my back at work last night” I tell her “I guess I need to start doing my exercises again.”

“You know” she says, “if you did them all the time, you probably wouldn’t get back strains.”

 “Funny…that’s what the doctor told me.“

 “I’m going to the gym later, why don’t you come with me?

 “Nah, I hate going to the gym. It’s full of fit and focused jockish type people and it’s kind of…I don’t know, intimidating.”

 “What a load of crap. You’re not exactly ‘unfit’, but you could use some meat on you’re bones. Come with me tonight and I’ll help you with a routine.”

 We go to the gym and have a blast. She likes how I’m not afraid to ask questions and I like how she’s adept at so many different things. After the workout we decide to have a soak in the hot tub and I’m just getting in when she comes out of the change room. Her string bikini doesn’t leave much to the imagination and I’m struck again by just how beautiful she is. She slips into the tub beside me and gives me a kiss…and then another. My tongue starts to explore her mouth while her hand starts to explore my shorts. When she’s sure that she has my full and complete attention she bites my lip, gives me a wink, hops out of the tub and into the pool for a swim. After a few laps she gets out of the pool and kneels beside me. She sees I still have a fair sized tent and tells me she’ll wait for me in the steam room.

 I watch her walk away, lost in the sway of her hips and the wiggle of her ass. It comes down to movement I decide. When she is still I can concentrate, but when her body is in motion my mind turns to mush. As I sit there I notices the “Out of Order” sign on the sauna room door directly across from the steam room and I get an idea. It’s getting late and there is only a couple of people left in the spa. I get out of the tub and as I dry myself off I pick up the sign from the sauna door and hook it onto the steam bath door.

Inside, the steam is thick and I can barely make out her form on the top bench near the corner. She doesn’t open her eyes as I sit down beside her and kiss her sweaty lips. We explore each other’s mouths and necks and ears with our tongues while busy hands explore slick bodies. I undo the top of her bikini exposing her milky white breasts and I think she’s pleasantly surprised at my boldness. I massage each breast in turn, taking my time exploring it completely before moving on to the next one. I lean down and lick the sweat off her erect nipple, kiss it, suck it, bite it, love it. Then I give the other one the same treatment.

 She loves how I take my time with her entire body exploring her completely, never rushing toward any final destination. Though at this exact moment in this public steam bath I’m certain she wishes I would cut to the chase. I kneel on the bench below her and she rests her legs on my shoulders. I kiss down her tummy and lick the sweet tasting sweat from her navel.

As I get to the top of her bikini, I undo the strings on either side. This brazenness is out of character and as she slides her hips toward my hungry mouth she seems to decide that she likes it…a lot. I nibble her creamy inner thighs and then along the smooth shaved sides of her pussy.

 She moans as I gently lick her outer lips tasting her nectar mixed with sweat. I spread her apart with my fingers expose her swollen clit…I lean close and blow on it.  I touch the core of her being with the tip of my tongue and I can feel the first little shudder ripple through her body. I love how when she gets excited her clit seems to have a life of its own almost separate from her, kind of like my cock I suppose. I lick it, kiss it, suck it, bite it, and love it. I know her so well that I’m able to keep her balanced on the edge of a huge orgasm. She needs release and tries to push her hand down, but I push it away. When I sense that she really can’t take any more I stands up and lean her back against the wall. I kiss her deeply and she can taste her love juices mixed with my sweat. 

I tease her clit with the tip of my cock and she tries to push herself onto me, but I hold her back. I let the head of my swollen member slip inside then pull it out…slip it in then out.

“Please” she begs, ”oh please.”  I push into her with one hard fluid thrust and hold myself there savoring the sensation of her love muscles massaging my hard cock. Slowly I starts to move my hips, my tongue in her mouth moves in time with my cock. The only sounds are the slap of wet flesh and the hum of the fan blowing the steam that makes it feel like we are in a hot and humid cocoon. I know that she is so close that I don’t really have to pace myself; as soon as she feels that familiar twitching in my cock she’ll be able to let herself go. Her legs are still over my shoulders and her hands are pinned to the wall behind her head. She pushes against me with every thrust as I fuck her hard and deep. We are joined at the hips and mouth and spirit and both know when the time is…NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! 

We both explode and melt and cum with and to and for each other, and as her pussy squeezes the last of the hot cum out of my cock, she asks ” So how’s your back now, babe?”

 

I love being married to you. I don’t know how I lived for so long without you. I love your soft body. It is perfect … just perfect. I love tasting your pussy. I love to kiss and lick your pussy anytime of the month … anytime. In fact the thought of making love to you, of fucking when you’re having your period makes you hot, and that makes me hot. It is a beautiful thing … beautiful, and I want to hold you when that happens to let you know your worth. I want to worship your body and make you feel like a queen. I love your breasts. I love your ass. Oh, yes and your perfect little clitty. You make me so hot, so very hot. Just thinking of you has made my cock hard right now. I love seeing you nude. I love your body. I’m fasinated by how you’ve changed your body. It’s the whole package that is hot … the entire package. I want to hold you and fondle you and caress you and reassure you of how much you mean to me. I’m amazed at how you can still make me so excited. My desire for you only seems to increase.  I want my cock inside you right now. You are who I care about, and I want to make you happy. I want you to want me. I want you addicted to me, like I am to you.  I want you so much. I want you to know that I love what a woman you are. I love your breasts, your ass, your pussy. You are so beautiful; I can’t stay away from you. I just can’t. I want to make you cum and hear you squeal. I want to take you from behind. I want to kiss your ass, and tongue your rosebud. Don’t say no … never say no, let me have you and appreciate you. I love hearing you have an orgasm … I want you to really scream, knock the pictures off the God damn wall; that’s right … groan: louder … louder … louder.

 

dear AAG;

my wife (she’s a goddess) and i were really enjoying your audio blogs last night when her son (that would be my step son) arrived home unexpectedly. there was a mad dash to get our clothes back on and the speakers turned off before he got the front door unlocked and came inside.

after he’d left we started again. my wife (did i mention that she’s a goddess?) loves trash talk/fantasy/role playing and we both totally got into having a 3some with you on the couch. you finished a little to quickly, but all things considered it was completely understandable.

thanks again.

cheers.

ps: if we had got busted by the kid, i could have given him this;

 

♀ & I were digging through boxes of papers last night looking for fodder in my ongoing battle with the phsyco bitch from hell aka my ex when we came across a class picture from 1970. This is unusual because I have no other school pictures. None. Not even a picture from my high school graduation. ♀ have been together for five years and just this year she took it upon herself to go meet my mother. They get along fabulously so it’s possible that she has seen some childhood pics, but it wasn’t my doing..

Anyway, after carefully studying the 30 or so smiling 7yr olds (yes, I really am that old) she picked me out, had a good laugh, commented that I looked much like my son did at that age then asked the obvious question, “why after purging all other photographic evidenceof your youth did you keep this one picture?”

The answer is my gorgeous teacher Miss M. Judging from the picture I’d say she was in her mid to late 20’s, she was about 5′7″, slender build (not skinny), she had long brown hair and big green eyes. It’s hard to tell with the blouse she was wearing, but I think she had nice breasts.

But what fascinated this 7 yr old was her legs. It was 1970 and Miss M wore very high heels and very short skirts and bless my little heart, I went to great lengths to sit behind the slowest kid in the class. For you see the desks for grade 2 students are very low and Miss M, being the dedicated teacher she was would bend over his desk and OMG I’m getting excited just thinking about it.

I only remember seeing full panties, (it was probably before thongs and G-strings were popular) and as far as I can recall only black or white. She usually wore pantyhose, but sometimes she had bare legs. Once or twice I even remember seeing garters and stockings.

So you see, I’ve been fascinated with women and their pretty under garments for a very long time.

I am sooo excited. ♀ & I went to the fabric store yesterday and she bought a pattern for an outfit that looks a lot like this. She’s even going to make the ruffled panties that match the apron.

I’ve been trying to decide what footwear to get. We’re lucky that we both wear the same size shoes. So even though I don’t have the opportunity to get dressed up very often (kids still at home) she gets to wear them as well. My vote is for a pair of sexy thigh high boots. The problem with that is they won’t be very practical for doing house work and ♀ can’t wear high heels for any length of time. Maybe a sensible pair of mary janes?

I am a dough surgeon aka a baker of bread (that’s where the sweat shop reference comes from). Not just any bread, but an amazing assortment of breads all made from scratch. This weekend was the Canadian Thanksgiving and so this past week I was a very busy baker. After every holiday season I say that I’m getting to old for this shit, but after 25yrs of saying it, I don’t think anyone believes me.

To add to the joy of the week, I had a wisdom tooth extracted Wednesday night. You know how people are always saying how much fun extractions are? Well they lied. It wasn’t fun at all. I was out of the chair at 7pm and at work for 9pm. My face was still frozen and for most of the night I had blood and saliva dribbling down my chin.

The dentist gave me a prescription for Tylenol3’s; adequate for pain management, but not so great for regularity. By yesterday afternoon I was feeling decidedly backed up. ♀ went to the drug store and bought one of those 1 shot mineral oil enema kits. There were still kids in the house so I was endrab (men’s clothes), but underneath I was wearing a black bra and pantie set. (the first lingerie that ♀ ever bought just for me). It was funny, when my step-son was leaving with his girlfriend, ♀ & I both noticed her thong sticking out from the top of her jeans. The label was showing and it was the same brand and colour I was wearing.

After they’d left and we’d fed the other child and had him suitably distracted ♀ suggested I go up stairs and get ready. When she finally arrived, I was on the bed on my hands and knees with my horny little butt facing the door. She came up behind me and started lightly stroking me. Her fingers traced across my shoulders and slowly down my back.

“Did you feel pretty today, Baby?” She asked as her hands squeezed my ass cheeks and slowly slid down my thighs. “I think you should get dressed in something sexy later on, before you pamper me.”

She moved in closer. Her fingers barely touching my inner thighs sent shivers up and down my spine. She reached between my legs and gently cupped my balls. “Does my sissy have a horny little ass?” She whispered in my ear.

She started stroking my thickening cock with one hand while rubbing my ass with the other. “You like that, don’t you baby?” She asked as she teased my rosebud with a well lubed finger.

When she decided that my cock was sufficiently hard, she placed the tip of the applicator against my asshole. “Do you want me to fuck you now?”

“Yes” I moaned, trying to push myself against the hard plastic. But she would not be rushed and had a firm grasp of my cock. Ever so slowly she eased into me.

“Ohh Baby, you are so tight, ” she purred as she started to fuck me. “It’s been so long since I’ve been inside of you.”

She was still stroking my cock while she fucked me and it didn’t take long for me to get to the edge. “Do you want me to shoot my hot cum in your ass Baby?”

“Please mommy, fill my horny bumcunt with your cum.” I pleaded. She stopped fucking me and slapped my ass…hard.

“Mommy can’t cum in your ass bitch, only daddy can do that. If you want daddy to fill that tight little girly ass up with his seed, you have to beg him for it.”

“Oh daddy please…please, I want to feel you cum inside of me. Fill me so full that it drips out of me for a week. Make me your whore daddy, PLEASE.”

And as my cock started twitching in ♀’s hand, she pushed the plunger and filled me with the mineral oil. Moaning in my ear as she came inside me and I came in her hands.

Even when she’s faking it, it’s still pretty cool when we both cum at the same time.

♀ was not quite done with me yet. She withdrew the applicator and reached into the toy drawer for a butt plug. “To get the full effect of the treatment,” she explained as if I was a child, “the oil needs to stay in there for awhile and I don’t want you leaking on my nice clean sheets. I want you to sit here with that plug in for 20 minutes,” she instructed, “then you can go and get cleaned up.”

She held up her cum drenched hand between us and we both licked it off and that led to one of those long lingering post sex kisses that reminds me that I’m married to a goddess.

Before ♀ left me to percolate, she put some of her perfume on me so I’d smell pretty later.